DH visual turn off = Low Libido DW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2010
DH visual turn off = Low Libido DW?
37
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:07am

Hi everyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:26pm

Thank you for your honesty lisa613.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:33pm

my sex toy,...Im with ya from #3 all the way down 100%.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 12:01am

I don't think people necessarily say the truth when they're on something.



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 3:01am

In the mean time,.."bootytime" will no longer be getting any booty from the wife cuz he's pissed off!



You can choose not to be pissed off. Here are some reasons why you might choose not to be:



1. She might not have said anything because she didn't want to hurt your feelings or get in an argument. Maybe she thought she could grow to accept you the way you are. All of which is her doing her best to be positive and non-judgmental toward you. When you think about it, which pound gained should be the pound that should trigger "the talk"? Maybe she's only guilty of procrastination. Think about the situation in reverse, putting yourself in her shoes. You love your wife; you want to have a happy, harmonious marriage--how eager are you to drop the bomb about her weight? Do you want to be that guy? If the situation were reversed, you might be on this forum pissed off about your wife insensitively "letting herself go" and why does anyone need to be told that that's bad for a marriage?



2. As I said in my earlier post, she might not even be aware of her aversion to your weight. That would explain the fact that she saw all these doctors and talked about all these possible solutions and the issue never came up. If it had been in the forefront of her mind and "the issue", why would she have seen even a single doctor? She would have known it would have been a waste of time, money and effort.



3. Be glad she's not turned off by some aspect of your looks that's irreversible or extremely difficult to reverse or that requires painful, expensive surgery to fix. This is relatively easy to work on and it will improve your health and make you feel better in the process. What if you were losing your hair and that turned her off? Or developing varicose veins? Or stretch marks? Or wrinkles? Or saggy eyes? Or what if she suddenly decided she couldn't stand the way you

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 4:17am

I know you're pissed and sometimes anger can act as a very healthy stimulus to action - if you use it in the right way.



HOWEVER - I don't think you're proceeding in the best way if your objective is to improve your marriage and ML.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 9:05am
...congratulations...this all is working out well for you now (I guess)...you weren't getting sex before and she's given you a clue why...you won't be needing sex with her, though...'cause you're screwing yourself by getting pissed...lose weight, tone up and see where it goes form there...if her drug induced words were hollow and meant to piss you off, you'll figure that out when you lose the weight...in the meantime, don't screw with your marriage further by acting like a child...this isn't about winning or being right or being wronged...right?...it's about two people living a healthy, committed life together (or, it is for me...)...
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 9:35am

You are pissed off?

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 10:13am

I wouldn't assume the worst just yet about her physical attraction to you...I think you're being too hard on yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 12:20pm

Let the anger get you started but after a while, you will simply crave the feeling of being strong, carrying yourself like a young man,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2010
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 1:10pm
zejayge,..you're completely right.