DH visual turn off = Low Libido DW?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2010
DH visual turn off = Low Libido DW?
37
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:07am

Hi everyone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:26am

Anything that loosens your inhibitions can make you more likely to voice the thoughts that you wouldn't ordinarily. Hence the saying "In wine there is truth".

And yes, for some people their partner's physical appearance is very important, for others not so much.

Personally, I fall into the second category. DH could gain a bit of weight, lose a bit of weight, loose his hair, or his teeth, and it wouldn't matter. For me, ultimately I'm attracted to the entirety of "who he is" and not just the physical. There are those that readily admit if their partner gained weight, then they would lose physical attraction for their spouse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:32am
...I'm shallow...I would not be attracted to someone without their natural teeth...probably would have turned me off while dating...hair?...well, I've been attracted to men with and without hair...but, weight gain?...it would turn me off...and, it would piss me off for 2 reasons...he knows that weight gain would bother me and his health would be compromised with weight gain...having said that, I have no experience with ambien...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 10:38am

DH had all his natural teeth while dating, a few years in it became necessary for the dentist to remove most of the top teeth. He has a semi-permanent plate. It doesn't matter to me. He's gained a bit of weight (about 10 pounds over the past 10 years) no big because he was really thin to begin with, so no health consequences.

Now what would make me not attracted and piss me off is if he ever shut his intellect down and was only interested in football, beer, and cars. So, I'm shallow too, just not when it comes to appearances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:56am

I'm guessing that you finally heard the truth and that your appearance could be contributing to her lower libido.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:01pm
...me too Glenn...and, if my partner is interested in my sexual satisfaction, he won't gain...(I find it interesting that in real life, during this conversation, it is always the people that are clearly over weight that will say "what would you do if he was in an accident and suffered disfiguring injuries????"...obviously, that's a little different than choosing to take in more calories than one burns...over and over and over...)...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 4:25pm

I can try to answer as truthfully and as delicately as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 6:57pm

There are three possibilities here:



1) The Ambien was making her talk out of her butt or kid around with you, but she wasn't funny. She didn't mean it.



2) The Ambien was making her say things that are true and she knows they're true but she would never admit them without having her tongue loosened up by the drug. She did mean it.



3) The Ambien was drawing out of her subconscious mind something she would never admit to herself consciously, sort of like hypnosis. She meant it on a deeper level than she would ever admit to herself. If you confronted her with it, she could credibly deny the truth of it, because she doesn't consciously believe it, but it's still true. This one actually makes a lot of sense for a woman who's been to the doctor searching for answers about a missing libido and can't come up with anything.



If you're playing the odds and scoring at home, I'd say there's a 67% chance your physical appearance is impacting her libido but she's been too nice or in denial

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 7:20pm

I find it interesting that in real life, during this conversation, it is always the people that are clearly over weight that will say "what would you do if he was in an accident and suffered disfiguring injuries????"



Just to play the devil's advocate, what if they drove like a speed-demon every time they got behind the wheel? Would that be much different than over-eating every time behind they got behind

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 9:13pm
...to my sex drive?...if they drove like an idiot?...probably wouldn't affect my sex drive...but, I'd be pissed they injured themselves while driving like an idiot...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:14pm
Yeah buddy,..your last paragraph has been circling in my head most of the day.

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