Does anything work? (Long)
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|Sun, 05-27-2007 - 11:54pm|
First of all, this is my first post, but I've been reading some of the other posts and think that this might be a place that I could find some advice, ideas, or at least some sympathy! So, here goes...
I'm 28 years old and I've been married to my DH for nearly 3 years (we've been together for close to 7). We had a pretty good and adventurous sex life for about the first year, and then things started to slow down a little. Things weren't terrible, but we had sex much less than we used to...which, I think is to be expected to a certain degree after that initial "honeymoon phase". Recently, things have just been weird with my libido. First, i've tried a couple of different birth control methods, and I think that my hormones and cycle were thrown kind of out of whack. So, we decided that I would quit the BC, and my sex drive came back like crazy. Now, it seems like I have a week or so out of the month where I'm HL, but then the rest of the time I'm LL. I still believe that its mostly hormones.
However, I have a couple of other issues that I think are contributing...First, my husband has become really complacent about work, any kind of household chores, and pretty much everything else. He seems so unassertive that its hard to deal with sometimes. I sometimes feel like he's not pulling his weight and everything related to our finances, housework, or livelihood in general is on my shoulders. I've tried to talk to him, but he just shuts down and acts like I'm being a nag. I really don't know what's happened with him, but its kind of hard to feel sexually attracted to him when I'm feeling kind of resentful. I hope that doesn't sound evil or bitchy...I don't know how else to put it, really.
Finally, I've put on some weight recently (well, over the past couple of years) and although I'm not "fat" I don't quite feel comfortable in my own skin right now. I think that part of the weight gain could be the hormonal issues I mentioned with relation to the BC too. Well, and the fact that I have been less active than I have been in awhile. I need to work on my weight and I know it. Although DH says that he still finds me as attractive as ever, I don't find myself attractive at all and that makes a huge difference with my libido too.
So, a combination of hormones, some resentment issues, and my weight gain have made me mostly LL except for the week or so out of the month where my homones are going crazy and I'm HL. (Only problem is that even when I'm feeling HL, I'm not necessarily into the though of having sex with my DH--re: resentment issues.) I don't know what to do. I don't know if I need to go to my doctor and see if my hormones are truly screwed up, if I need to look into marriage counseling, or if I just need to get into a gym...or all of the above. So, I guess my question is: has anyone had any similar issues and found anything that helps...even in just one of the problem areas that I mentioned? Any thoughts or suggestions? Or, anyone that can sympathize...