Does lack of fantasies always indicate lack of libido?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Does lack of fantasies always indicate lack of libido?
73
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 10:55am

Just something I've wondered about.....if someone doesn't have any sexual fantasies, does that always mean they have low or no libido? Or could they be HL (or anywhere in between), and lack of fantasies simply indicates that they just don't have any particular wishes/fantasies, that they don't care how they get some as long as they get some? Does that even make sense?




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007

Here is my take on this topic about using the list or not. My wife and I were virgins when we met, we had dated and made out but nothing sexual. Now, when we met, the sparks were flying pretty fast and it was hot/heavy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007

according to the list, and to coconut's idea to ask the girlfriends, I would be reported as a LL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006

Ah, da secret formula

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
>>Ah, da secret formula <<

This type of logic is what has kept me with my DH in spite of our mismatch and my subsequent feeling like chit about it. Ultimately, a lot of what he does that I cannot stand stems from traits that I require to be fully engaged in a worthwhile (imo) relationship. The problem isn't really him. It's me. If I didn't need what drives that behavior, all would be well with the world.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2010

I do think that I know the deal with women I know pretty well but of course that could always be wrong, since I probably won't be in any of their bedrooms. But exceptions to it don't make it untrue either. I guess I'm saying that the truth will probably show. Usually they don't have much reason to lie. Friends reveal their true selves

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006

One of the most difficult applications of this process was when my gf kept hidden from me the incident when

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010

I think in general (accepting that there will be/are exceptions) asking a woman's close friends what they think about her libido would be helpful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007

She USED to like it, as in when we were dating. I bought her an erotic novel a few years back, she picked it up and it just so happened the pages she read contained two women having sex, she immediately put it down and has not picked it up since. She used to read romance novels but those have been pushed aside for school stuff or kids stuff. She does not want the sex stuff around the house for fear the kids could dig it up. She still likes romantic movies and more times than not she gets horny after watching one but we don't have time/ability to watch them very often these days.

I have the weekend getaway scheduled for December, two nights away in a nice mtn cabin, it should be nice and I hope we can really connect. Course when I talked about making the reservation, she kept bringing up reasons we shouldn't go, finally I just said, I have childcare taken care of and we need to get away after a crazy fall so I just booked it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2010

We tend to focus so much on honesty

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