How to connect emotional so...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
How to connect emotional so...
10
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 2:24pm

Im looking for advice to help me and DF connect on an emotional level which will help me connect on a sexual level for him. In another post i responded

when you have small children who demand attention and physical touch daily sometimes you run out of your need for physical touch. Before kids i was the needy one who needed reassurance with hugs and physical touch. Now i get alot of the physical affection that i so needed daily from my son. I guess maybe its hard to show and give the affection when your filled up. Does that make any sense? In my situation by the end of some days i want the attention and conversation but i just dont want the physical touch. Ive been poked prodded and touched all day and as a person having your personal space being invaded all day it just gets to be to much sometimes. Maybe im a wierdo !!

Randa replyed

You are NOT a wierdo!! That is a perfectly acceptable and very common feeling for a lot of mothers of young children. The only thing is, you have to view the touch of your husband as separate, different and very important for the health of the relationship. But I know it ain't easy.

I guess what im asking for is help to achieve this? Any advice or words of wisdom are much appreciated.


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siggyme
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 2:44pm

I think what you are experiencing is very common.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 3:02pm

I agree with what you are saying completley and this is the help i am asking for. I do not need you to tell me what i am doing wrong as i think i have stated i already know. I am asking for help to fix it.
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Im sorry if that came off mean. It was not meant to but after reading it again i think it might have.

Edited 11/9/2007 3:04 pm ET by katiemomma2chey




Edited 11/9/2007 3:11 pm ET by katiemomma2chey
siggyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 3:29pm

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If I may jump in. I believe Mr. Hold said it when he mentioned acting

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 3:40pm

No problem.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 5:10pm

Time away from the children is the best way to go about it.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 5:18pm
Great advice.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 5:26pm

I should add things like watching TV together at night doesn't count.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Fri, 11-09-2007 - 6:04pm
Its hard to get and keep his attention. If were home we either watch tv or one of us is on the computer. I guess i dont have much to talk about since im at home with DS all day. I try not to talk about baby this baby that. Which i guess giving my self me time i can reconnect with myself thus having more to talk about. I just went around in a circle didnt i?


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siggyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Sat, 11-10-2007 - 10:43am

"Its hard to get and keep his attention. If were home we either watch tv or one of us is on the computer. I guess i dont have much to talk about since im at home with DS all day. I try not to talk about baby this baby that. Which i guess giving my self me time i can reconnect with myself thus having more to talk about. I just went around in a circle didnt i?"


Here is an idea as how couples in a relationships slow drift a part.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 6:28pm

""Young kids take up so much time that realistically you can only do small things to reconnect.