How we deal with mismatched sex drive

Avatar for annie66
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2011
How we deal with mismatched sex drive
66
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 10:00am

I've had a strong sex drive since puberty that continues.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 5:16am

...I haven't read the first study (studies bore me and never seem to sway me)...but, I'm one of those creepy, purity people who prefer sexual monogamy...so does my husband...so, when the evolutionary urge to screw others in order to spread his seed (my 'just for the seed spreading' sex would be moot as I've had my ability to produce surgically hindered) strikes, he has thus far been able to resist...I also try to pass this creepiness on to my children...regardless of the evolutionary urge to mate as much as possible, one should probably limit themselves to the number they can afford to house and feed and educate...and, one needs to be old enough, well feed, housed, and educated

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 8:47am
What we have to remember is that regardless of biochemical or evolutionary factors we live in a civilized culture, and that culture colors everything we do and how we feel about things. Of course a teen girl having sex can feel used. She is RAISED to feel it. Not that there isn't a reason for that, because that sexual experience has consequences in our culture that can ruin her chances for a good and prosperous life. The thing that really sucks about all of this is that for the most part, the teen boy in this circumstance is allowed to enjoy the experience without as much baggage as the girl. It creates a primary sexual inequality, and that IS creepy to me. In spite of all we've done to allegedly create "equality" none really exists when it comes to sexual expression.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 8:47am

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 9:31am

...I wonder, are you and Miranda replying to me because you think that I am advocating everyone follow my thought?...just curious...because, what I am advocating is that my sons wait until they are mature enough and employed enough and well enough

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 9:44am
>>which part did you disagree with so much that you felt it necesary to tell me how you feel?...(I don't mean that flip...it just sounds as though both of you are saying something like "how nice for you, but...")...I understand completely a disgreement with the basis of my beliefs in God...but, I choose not to call names or use flippant tags (like 'creepy') to discribe someone that might feel differently...<

I don't see where I did what you are saying here, Z. I replied to you because you were the last post on the thread, to be honest. What I was saying was directed to the thread at large. I only used the word "creepy" in regard to sexual inequality (which I made pretty clear.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 9:46am

A parent can teach a child to resist peer pressure and place a high value on her or his own human dignity without resorting to scare tactics and pseudoscience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 9:51am

..thanks for responding Miranda...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 9:54am
>>thanks for responding Miranda...<<

Sure thing. I'm always willing to own what I've posted...and to back it up if I can.

I have a funny feeling you might have been attributing some of overcaff's posts to me....
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 9:57am

...you know what, I might have, and I apologize...

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 02-01-2011 - 10:08am
What is treating a girl "right"? Taking her to dinner and a movie first? Making sure she has an orgasm too? Wearing a condom (or 2 or 3 - I advise my kids to dip themselves in polyurethane before they have sex)? Making conversation afterward? Asking her out on another date?

I don't see how sex is "using" the girl. For all we know, she was using him. To get back at her former boyfriend or one of her girlfriends. To increase her status among her peers. To "get back" at her parents.

To me, if women want equality, they need to stop complaining about how they are being "used". Unless you were raped (lack of consent), you were not "used" in any sense that comports with viewing women as being equal to men.

Once you go down the path of saying that women need to be protected against "predatory" men (again, outside the case of rape), then you are implicitly accepting that women are inferior and cannot navigate social situations on their own. To me, that is a very slippery slope for a feminist to embark on.

When you see it coming, duck!

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