HSDD to AODL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
HSDD to AODL
14
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 10:08am

I have a proposition. I think we should rename HSDD and agree that it doesn't exist. Instead I think there should a condition called Adult Onset Diminished Libido (AODL). Here is my rational.

If someone truly once had a moderate or high libido, even a low libido and then went to a flat line, this person should be considered AODL. Not unlike diabetes in which a persons body produces insulin up until a certain point and then stops. For what ever the reason a person whose body's chemistry produced and interest in sex and then stopped should be looked at very similarly and hence AODL.

Now if you have never had a libido or interest in sex, you wouldn't fall under this condition.

Would this new term satisfy the HSDD critics? Would the HSDD critics then stop bashing the Pharmas for trying to produce a product for those who want to recapture their libido?

Dirty

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin

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Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 11:50am
Love this idea. With the subvariants: COLDS and MOLDS. Child Onset Libido Deficiency Syndrome and Mortgage Onset Libido Deficiency Syndrome.

When you see it coming, duck!

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 12:17pm
Don't forget SOLD (stress-onset libido deficiency) and HOLD (hormonally-onset libido deficiency).
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2008
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 12:34pm

AODL to RAHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 1:14pm

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Yeah, I could buy that -- with the qualification that AODL is not necessary indicative of pathology and does not necessarily need to be treated -- unless the person wants to reclaim her former libido, either for her own sake or for the sake of a ML marriage. (Gender usage arbitrary.)

F.

p.s. Maybe you should propose the term to Eli Lilly or Pfizer...




Edited 11/19/2009 1:15 pm ET by freelancemomma
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 3:59pm
Good point on the RAHD.
Also consider SISYFIT = Stress Induced Sexual Yearning Fixation Trauma, and
HISYFIT = Hypoconfidence Induced Sexual Yearning Fixation Trauma

When you see it coming, duck!

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 6:27pm
...and, the one that we really don't discuss much...NATMS...not attracted to my spouse...
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 8:05pm

Yes, the one that Mrs. Hold will never admit to. All that "smart is sexy" BS.

Sometimes I wish she would admit "I was never attracted to you sexually, but I thought I could tolerate it since you would be a good provider and father. Then we got married and I immediately realized the enormity of my mistake but I was too embarrassed to call it quits right after the wedding."

Could have saved both of us enormous heartache. Then again, I could have filed for divorce the minute the plane back from the honeymoon hit the tarmac, but I was also too embarrassed.

When you see it coming, duck!

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 9:38pm

>>Yes, the one that Mrs. Hold will never admit to. All that "smart is sexy" BS.

Sometimes I wish she would admit "I was never attracted to you sexually, but...<<

LOL. So you got this too eh? When Mrs Dejected and I were in college(we didn't start dating until after we graduated as she was almost always spoken for and I was a bit shy to boot) she had a number of fairly good male friends, myself included. None of us knew each other except casually, but we all knew of each other and I'm sure all felt we were in friendly competition.

Both myself and one of these other guys coincidentally shared the same first name. When talking to her roommates, in order to keep us straight, she referred to him as "Dejected" and me as "Smart Dejected" since she thought of me as a stereotypical brainiac(or nerd,... as you wish). She would sometimes refer to me that way directly also, so I knew of the nickname, and I took it as a compliment, at the time. I don't want to make this guy out as a Bozo by the way, he was pre-med at the time and became a successful doctor. I was also always able to make her laugh, which she seemed to enjoy.

We started a long distance relationship maybe 9 months or more after graduation. Go figure. Maybe I'm more appealing in writing than in person. Fast forward another year and we've both moved and are living together and seriously considering marriage. She decides to give me her whole sexual history(okay, I may have asked, bad idea). That's when I found out she had slept with virtually all of the guys I mentioned earlier in college, either casually or while going steady with them for a time, myself and another guy who was gay being the notable exceptions. I'm not talking large numbers here, maybe just over a handful of guys over the 4 years, just so I don't give the wrong impression. It was a real blow to my ego realizing what compartment I had occupied in in her psyche all that time.

On another occasion around the same time, we were talking about her orgasms. Back then, like now, she only liked to orgasm through straight intercourse, which was only successful maybe 25-50% of the time at best. I could get her off in other ways but she didn't prefer it. I asked if it was the same with previous partners(dumb a$$). Turns out she almost never had orgasms with most of them(feeling pretty good), except for one who was pretty much able to get her over the top every time(Ouch). Drum roll...the other Dejected. Through to this day, I have no interest whatever in her complimenting me for being either funny or intelligent. More than anything I needed to feel desired by her, something I felt from other girls I was briefly involved with(thank goodness, or my self-esteem would have been shot), but never ever from her.

So...yeah, I know where you're coming from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 5:37am
..."smart is sexy" is not BS...I really do mean that...and, I think quite a few of my friends over the years have meant it too...so, for me and maybe 100 or so friends of mine in Germany and, oh...15 states...do find smart sexy...even when the face and body aren't that great...that's what make "us" superior to most men...(and, I mean that with the utmost fondness)...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Fri, 11-20-2009 - 8:57am
Intelligence is by far my #1 turn on in a woman. If she's also very attractive physically, like my wife, it may not be the first thing I notice, for biological reasons that I'm not entirely in control of. Once I get to know them however, looks drop way down the list. The smart ones, provided they are also kind and funny, have always dominated my fantasy life.

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