Hubby wants it all the time

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2008
Hubby wants it all the time
3
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 11:31pm
My husband and I have been together for 2 years. I've never had a very high libido, but he has. We've just gotten married, and now, it seems like all he wants is sex. I moved 5 hours away from anyone that I know, so I have no one to talk to. He's consantly pouting everytime I tell him that I'm not in the mood. He accepted how I was before, so why the sudden change? I love him to bits, but aren't newly wed suppose to be happy, and not fighting all the time over sex?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 11:47pm

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I suppose his version of that question might be, "Aren't newlyweds supposed to be happy, and wanting to have sex all the time?"

In truth, there's no "supposed to." The reality is that people vary widely in libido, sexual needs and sexual styles. I see this variation as a serious glitch in the evolutionary mechanism that's supposed to ensure the propagation of the species!

Based on the time I've spent on this board, I can confidently tell you that the sooner you both figure out a way to HAPPILY compromise, the better the long-term outlook for your relationship. Bear in mind that it's much easier for you (and him) to compromise NOW than it will be after years of mutual resentment -- so don't delay. Try to keep it playful while you work on meeting in the middle: the more serious the endeavour, the more it tends to generate anxiety and frustration.

No easy answers, but hope this helps a little.

Freelance (another LL woman)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 5:25am

Freelance is right. You need a compromise and right away. What does all the time mean? My wife thinks all the time is twice a week. Does he want it twice a day? What would you be comfortable with?


Second, you need to get out and meet some new people. We just moved too. Our neighbors had us over and my wife has already started a book club for the street. She also has met a lot of other women just by walking our dogs. Don't just be dependent on your husband for your adult contact.


Third, if you just flat out say, "NO" to your new husband all the time, you are rejecting him. You may not think so but that is exactly how he feels. Walk a mile in his shoes. What if you asked him all the time and he told you No. You would feel to great either


 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Fri, 01-11-2008 - 7:53am

My husband and I have been together for 2 years. I've never had a very high libido, but he has. We've just gotten married, and now, it seems like all he wants is sex. I moved 5 hours away from anyone that I know, so I have no one to talk to. He's consantly pouting everytime I tell him that I'm not in the mood. He accepted how I was before, so why the sudden change? I love him to bits, but aren't newly wed suppose to be happy, and not fighting all the time over sex?





Newlywed:


Welcome to the board, and thanks for posting your story.


How frequently were you guys having sex before you got married?


How frequently were you rejecting him before you got married?


Presuming you were having sex before you got married, and presuming that there was no frequency/rejection that made anyone unhappy prior to marriage...


Then I would say that your husband has pulled an unfair bait and switch on you.