I have absolutley no libido

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I have absolutley no libido
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 7:33am


My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Its a fantastic relationship and I am very happy with him. A big problem we have is that I have lost all interest in sex. It slowly dwindled until recently where now its just totally gone. He is a total hornbag and neither him or I understand why I just dont feel like having sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 7:59am

One question to ask yourself is if this has happened in another relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 5:39pm

Thanks for your reply. I guess I have left it all in his hands to initiate it, and its happened for so long its worked against me.

As for my last sexual relationship (ive only had two) I used to think we had sex quite alot. But when I think back to it, because we were on/off for so many years, the sex was never constant and I always thought sex was a way for him to show me that he loved me - I was always thought that if he is having sex with me then he must have feelings for me. Thats not the way it goes, but that was my way of thinking for ages. I know my bf loves me, I dont doubt that at all. In all other areas, this is a very good relationship.

In the end, I feel that its a bigger issue than just our sex life being boring. I love him, but I have gone through some major personal stuff. I just need to figure out what it is and how I can get over it.

I guess when I say normal, I think I meant I didnt think it would happen so early in a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 11:22am

Try reading the book The Great American Sex Diet, my DH and I got this book and it's pretty good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 5:59pm

Wow, there was so much that matched exactly with my situation, it's almost as if I wrote your message. I also lack any libido. I'm really not even sure what I like in bed, I have no ideas on what to try and I am shy about it too. The "same old standbys"

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 6:49pm

>>>>> I have suggested trying at other times of day when we are awake but we do not see each other much so this can be hard. <<<<<

Time to decide how important this relationship is to each of you.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2008
Mon, 05-19-2008 - 11:16am

What may work for you is to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Mon, 05-19-2008 - 12:34pm

So you used to have a higher libido but with all the family pressures it has dwindled and now you are stuck?