I have a low sex drive, or really no sex drive

mirandarr8 wrote:
In this regard, the LL can't win. And it's pretty common for this to be the status quo. This is the HLs part of making the mismatch work. A willingness to accept a "loving gift" that isn't driven by desire. An appreciation for the LL's efforts to provide what they themselves don't need. The ability to accept the best the LL has to give as "good enough."...It is important to note that solving the ML without blowing up the relationship takes the work of BOTH partners. The work of just one will rarely fix anything, and I know this first hand because for YEARS I was the only working on solving things in my relationship, in spite of the fact that I am the LL. It was hell on earth. I'm glad the dark days seem to be over.

I agree that the efforts of both are required to find resolution.

Personally, I would have been willing to accept a loving gift of what w didn't need, regardless of what drove it, if it had been offered without heavy sighs, eyerolls and impersonating a limp noodle instead of active participation. I probably could have fooled myself into think I was desired for as long as 50 years were it not for the non-verbal and sometimes verbal communication that made it impossible to maintain my delusion.