I have a low sex drive, or really no sex drive

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2011
I have a low sex drive, or really no sex drive
37
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 3:22pm

In my 20's I really had no interest in having sex with my husband, it was not about his performance, it was me.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 8:52pm
mirandarr8 wrote:
In this regard, the LL can't win. And it's pretty common for this to be the status quo. This is the HLs part of making the mismatch work. A willingness to accept a "loving gift" that isn't driven by desire. An appreciation for the LL's efforts to provide what they themselves don't need. The ability to accept the best the LL has to give as "good enough."...It is important to note that solving the ML without blowing up the relationship takes the work of BOTH partners. The work of just one will rarely fix anything, and I know this first hand because for YEARS I was the only working on solving things in my relationship, in spite of the fact that I am the LL. It was hell on earth. I'm glad the dark days seem to be over.

I agree that the efforts of both are required to find resolution.

Personally, I would have been willing to accept a loving gift of what w didn't need, regardless of what drove it, if it had been offered without heavy sighs, eyerolls and impersonating a limp noodle instead of active participation. I probably could have fooled myself into think I was desired for as long as 50 years were it not for the non-verbal and sometimes verbal communication that made it impossible to maintain my delusion.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 8:18pm
>>>>> I probably could have fooled myself into think I was desired for as long as 50 years were it not for the non-verbal and sometimes verbal communication that made it impossible to maintain my delusion. <<<<<

Yes, this can create tragedy.

Lately Mrs. Hold has been mostly ggg on those occassions when she consents. Unfortunately, it is too little too late. I have trouble maintiaing an erection, and find it very difficult to finish when I am with her. I can't get rid of the idea that she really really wishes she were somewhere else. Not because of how she acts now, but because of how she behaved for so many years up til now.

So now, ggg is not enough. I need her to feign desire, convincingly. Whereas ggg would have been enough if she had been this way from the start.

Such a shame. By the time she figured out it was in her own interest to be ggg despite her lack of desire, she had shattered my illusion and created a situation where ggg is not enough.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 3:34pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 5:31pm

Mol feels desired by his W?

Oh, that tricky desire word.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 5:39pm

Hold me old fruit, I understand the problems with it being too late and the legacy of the bad-old-days casting a pall over it.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 6:27pm

Mo, I think my prior post was misleading.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 6:17am

Thanks Hold, that sounds good-enough and caring to me.

Pages