I have a low sex drive, or really no sex drive

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2011
I have a low sex drive, or really no sex drive
37
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 3:22pm

In my 20's I really had no interest in having sex with my husband, it was not about his performance, it was me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 3:33pm
You sound a lot like me. I am in the same boat. I don't WANT to have sex, my DH becomes a total butthead when he doesn't get it, so I do it, but there's really no desire in me for it. This is not good enough for my DH, he wants me to want it and enjoy it. It's been miserable, and I've been unable to come up with any medical reason for my lack of desire.

Did you tell the dr the cream didn't work? Was it testosterone or progesterone? If it was one, you can try the other. Have you had your thyroid checked? Are you on any medications that can have sexual side effects (anti-depressants and blood pressure meds are common culprits)

I wouldn't blame you for one second if you divorced over this. I've been miserable for years and see no end to the misery.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2011
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 4:33pm

I am sorry to hear you have this issue too, sorry to hear it, but glad to know I am not the only one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 5:33pm

My heart goes out to anyone who does not enjoy a good relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sat, 11-12-2011 - 5:14pm

Since you already knew firsthand the pain and anguish of being the one with the higher libido in a ML relationship, what caused you to marry someone with a higher libido and put him through that pain and anguish? Wouldn't it be better for everyone to release him and yourself from the mismatch?

ETA: I would also advise you to avoid marriage in the future with men you only "like" and aren't attracted to. A sexless friendship is easier for everyone to maintain than a marriage that isn't satisfying for one partner and a pain in the a for the other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Sun, 11-13-2011 - 2:40pm

Why did you marry him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 12:52pm

"a man that treats me very well"

"He has turned very passive-aggressive and onry (not mean) when he does not get it"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 3:53pm

Sounds to me like in your in your 20's your were married, but not attracted to your husband, didn't like having sex with him.

Then divorced, meet someone your were more attracted to and had a great sex life for 13 years.

Then that relationship ended, met someone with a low drive, not alot of sex.

Then after 4 years that relationship ended, add 4 years with hardly or no sex for almost 8 years.

You now married to a man who treats you well, but you never stated if you are attracted to him?

I talked to my GYN, he gave me some cream, it did nothing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2011
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 3:53pm

I do appreciate a man's reponse to this issue, thank you for responding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2011
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 3:55pm

I do appreciate your response and you are absolutely correct.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2011
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 3:58pm

Not for the right reasons.

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