I have trouble having sex frequently

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2007
I have trouble having sex frequently
Sat, 06-30-2007 - 4:33pm


My marriage is breaking up and one of the problems is that my wife wants to have sex often (more than once a day, for instance) whereas I have trouble ejaculating more than once every 2 days. I can ejaculate closer to once a day with masturbation, but still not enough for her. It's not a lack of sexual desire, I can get an erection, but I can't ejaculate.

Is this a problem with me? Is there anything that I can do about it? Drink more water? Hormones?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 6:50am

So to clarify, the problem isn't that you are having trouble having sex frequently, but that you can't ejaculate every day? Why do you feel that you need to ejaculate every time? There are plenty of men out there that will have sex with their partners, even if they know that *this* time around they won't be able to ejaculate. There is nothing wrong with that. Many men cannot ejaculate at the same frequency as they get older, as what they could when they were younger.

What matters is that you and your wife have a good time together. If you can still get aroused, and are still interested in having sex with your wife, then I don't really see what the issue is. You need to stop making sex about the end result of achieving an orgasm and ejaculating every time, and make it about having the opportunity to be intimate with your wife. And if you can't meet her needs with intercourse, I'm sure you can both come up with creative ideas to meet her needs sexually without it (oral, use of toys, manual stimulation etc). It is OK to be intimate with your wife without having intercourse every time. As long as you are a willing partner in the bedroom, prepared to try to meet your wife's needs how you can, then I'm sure she will be happy.

If you had problems gaining and maintaining an erection, then I'd be suggesting that you see your doctor, as that is a bigger issue. Because you are still interested in sex in a regular basis, then your testosterone levels have not dropped to a level requiring medical care.