I just could care less about sex...saddened :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2009
I just could care less about sex...saddened :(
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 3:28pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 5:13pm
I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds to me like you are mourning. I understand. I do think one thing that you and your DH could do to help in this situation is to expand your definition of sex. Why does it have to be intercourse? Can he not please you and bring you orgasm as much as you like with other methods? Oral, manual, toys, etc? Then it won't matter if he can maintain an erection or if it lasts, because you will have been satisfied in other ways...

Hope this helps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 5:35am

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2007
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 10:06am

He could not maintain an erection.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 12:46pm
It sounds like you both need some counselling to deal with internal issues.

It also sounds like you both need some sex education, since you both sounds fairly ignorant about what activities are possible between 2 married and consenting adults.

That said, my advice on how to solve the sexual side of your problems is similar to what others have suggested:

round two

Good luck. I see no reason you cannot reconnect if you allow your husband some success in the bedroom. That means bringing you to orgasm. If he can't do that with his penis, he can do it with other parts of his anatomy. If you don't masturbate regularly, start. No way you can show him what works for you if you don't know how to do it yourself.

Good luck. This could be a fun process if you let it be.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 4:21pm

<< If he was having issues at 22, then it definitely sounds like there is medical issue to me.>>

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 2:44pm

It would be irresponsible not to rule out physical causes first. My BF got diabetes in his 20's and though he didn't start experiencing ED till later on, the disease wasn't discovered until he had had it for years. The problem is that the damage can take years to show up, even if you are treating the diabetes. He lost his vision a couple years after starting insulin. This is not a disease you want to mess around with. Neither is high blood pressure, or heart disease. The medical conditions that cause ED are mostly very dangerous if left untreated.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 05-25-2011 - 7:59am

Very true!


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 8:35pm
(((hugs))) I'm right there with you. I have no interest at all. Not even any interest in taking care of my own business. I resent having to have sex with him. I usually need to be tipsy to be able to tolerate it. I wish I was interested. I hear of other couples who just love having sex with each other.

I guess the point of my post is to say you're not alone. I have to answers, but lot's of understand and hugs.