I just don't get it!!!
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|Sat, 09-01-2007 - 4:07pm|
This makes just no sense...or maybe it does, I don't know.
My boyfriend is 38 and I am 22. Although we've been together for three years, and I love him, the sex is just blah. I've never had an orgasm through sex with him. Until recently, I had never had one with him at all. Yes, one in three years. He doesn't know that, I don't know how to tell him. I can get there by myself, although he teases me about it sometimes, and I feel stupid.
He has an extremely active sex drive. Sometimes to the point I can't keep up with him. He really likes to get kinky, which is something I never have been good at anyway. Sometimes, he likes to push my limits and I don't know if that would have anything to do with it. I struggle a lot of times to "keep up" with him; his desires and wants and expectations. It's like he is getting frustrated that I can't. I've only been with two people, my ex husband, and now my boyfriend. I would love to have some romance, music, candles. All that jazz. I've intiated that part but he really just does his thing then kinda turns over. His idea of intiating is to grab some body part and say "Get naked." half jokingly, although we all know he's serious. He'd have it every night a week if he could, at lunch and breakfast too. He has the tendency to randomly grab my shirt and raise it up. Just to be funny if you ask.
The problem is, although I never really got to finish what we started, I enjoyed sex, just not where it was a big thing for me. Now, it is just like a chore, or when I think about it alone, it's like, "Oh whatever. Sex. Hmmm." Now, I would rather wash dishes. It's been this way for about five months or so. (Yes, I just had a baby, but at first I had no problem with wanting sex.) I know that he is getting frustrated because when he tries to initiate, I kind of get frustrated. I finally told him that I felt like I was losing the desire and he took it very personally. In fact, I ended up being the one who felt bad afterwards.
I am so angry and frustrated with myself...we've tried so many things, different positions, toys, places, everything. I just want to be able to have a good time and enjoy sex. Honestly, I would rather go out to eat or something instead of having sex... I don't believe that that is normal.
Can anyone help? Do I just need to go to a sex therapist?
Edited 9/1/2007 4:52 pm ET by lhsdev13