Just want to vent a bit

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Just want to vent a bit
21
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 1:15pm

I just want to vent a bit. I’m really tired of getting up somewhere between 4 and 5:30 in the morning to go have sex in “new and interesting places”. So far, we’ve had sex in the garage, in my car, in the laundry room, and in the kitchen. The only places that I really don’t like are the car and the garage. I’m not sixteen anymore, and the only reason I was having sex in cars at that age was because I couldn’t at home in my bed. And the garage is hot, humid, and there are bugs swarming everywhere. I indulge, but wonder why having sex in our very nice, soft, comfortable California king bed is “boring”. I mean, we have a nice chaise lounge in the bedroom.

Looking at this logically, the only thing that is really changing is the scenery. The sex we are having is almost exactly the same, regardless of the surroundings. What’s so romantic about the garage, or squished into the back of my car parked in the garage? Not to mention, that the positions required in the car and the garage are not good for my back. I’ve not said anything, because I don’t want to start a fire immediately after having put one out. I’m just a touch frustrated. If I’d known that the garage was going to be so erotic, I’d have spent less on my bed .

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 1:37pm

I have a question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 1:38pm

omg! lol, I am sorry that I am laughing at your frustration, and trust me I am not laughing AT you, just at irony. I know how you feel. No matter what I give DH he wants something new, something different, something else. I can never seem to satisfy him. That being said, I think that oftentimes HLs have a high need for "novelty" and "spontaneity." It seems like spontaneity is pretty much out for you and your husband for a while, so I wonder if he is attempting to make up for that with "novelty."

I can offer up a few suggestions for alternatives that might not require you to venture into such uncomfortable locales and positions. How about sex toys? There are quite a few out there and once you get past the initial "ugh, it's artificial" thing, they can be okay. If he will let you use one on HIM, all the better. Also there are these special pillows for getting into positions more comfortably if you google "liberator shapes" I think you will find the more expensive type, but we have some knock offs that are inflatable. They're great because they can be deflated and stored in a smaller space, and they're less expensive.

I know you're feeling put upon and defeated, but keep on fighting the good fight, and come here to get it out. I think we'll try to set you straight, and I know for sure it helps to share.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 1:38pm

I'm wondering if his desire for variety is a poor and failed attempt to replace something else that is missing in his sex-life. I remember when my DW was desirous of sex... I had little desire for variety beyond

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 3:03pm

He's always been far more into the "novel" than me. And we have an entire drawer full of toys. Normally it's not an issue, but why the garage? LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 3:10pm
...he's into the smell of oil/auto fluids?...he's reliving his teenage years?...he's trying to prove to himself that his sex life isn't boring?...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 3:12pm

>> Normally it's not an issue, but why the garage? LOL<<

Who know? I mean seriously, I cannot figure my own HL out. I am very averse to doing it in places other than our house. I refused to have sex in cars when I was a teenager, (even though I started having sex at 16) because I had the firm notion that if a guy couldn't take me somewhere better than his back seat, he wasn't worth it. I mean, I could figure out just from "making out" that this wasn't going to work out in a way that was good or satisfying for me.

When the kids were small, we traveled extensively in our motor home (gas was $1.25/gallon back then, we could afford to drive the damn thing, now it sits in the driveway like a weird yard sculpture!) DH prefers to drive at night. I gave him plenty of "on the road bj's." He cannot for the life of him figure out why I won't play with him (at ALL) in the car now. The motor home had space to do something in, it is built like a bus, I could crawl under the dash without touching the pedals, the steering wheel was way up high, not smashed into his belly and the thing sat so high up there was NO WAY anyone could see in. But still, DH is obsessed with in the car bj's.

He needs to get over it.






Edited 9/22/2010 3:13 pm ET by mirandarr8
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 3:17pm

We don't play "keep it between the ditches" (on the road bj's). I worked as an EMT for a few years in my younger days, and I just don't think that having an orgasm and operating a motor vehicle should be done simultaneously. LOL

I don't know if he's trying to recapture his youth or if the smell of gas, oil, ect is erotic for him. I've given up trying to figure it out. I just hope he'll get bored with the garage and car, and maybe we can move back to the bed. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 4:41pm

<< I’m really tired of getting up somewhere between 4 and 5:30 in the morning to go have sex in “new and interesting places”.>>

Omigod! I can't imagine. Both the ungodly hour and the locale. You're a saint to wear a smile through it all.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 5:18pm

No, I'm not a saint. And the hour is okay with me if I don't have to get up and traipse across the house to the new and different locales.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 5:23pm

I agree with flm that you are a saint of a LL (and we have several of those here).



And I agree with glenn as to the likely motivation, although

When you see it coming, duck!

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