LL bc husband is not romantic!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
LL bc husband is not romantic!
1
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 2:33am
I have been married for almost 2 years on August 31. My husband and I have known each other for 9 years before. I cannot get him to play soft music ( he is very head strong, he thinks what I want is silly or dumb) for me so that we both can get in a romantic mood. He knows I am a great lover of music, especially soft music that will get me in the mood to make love. I guess he thinks I should just want to have sex with him for the simple fact that he's my husband! How can I get him to be more romantic? Also, we live a simple hum-drum life and a little soft music and slow dancing should not be too much to ask!! HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 10:55am

"I guess he thinks I should just want to have sex with him for the simple fact that he's my husband!"

Well the title of husband doesn't automatically give him the right to sex. He has to earn/maintain the love that goes with it. You might want to go to the book store for relationship books and ways to communicate with your husband. You're current approach isn't working, maybe you need to try another approach. What that is I don't know. Maybe because he is so head strong, you have to find a way to plant the seed in his head so he ends up thinking it is his idea.

Another thought is the approach of being an 'enabler'. Not sure how to research this beside just looking at any and all books but your actions are enabling him to get away with just pushing aside your feelings as silly and dumb. It's a lack of respect on his part and you're enabling him to get away with it. You're not standing up for yourself but how you approach might cause more issues in the relationship. So I'm thinking again, looking at books on dealing with relationships.

"we live a simple hum-drum life and a little soft music and slow dancing should not be too much to ask!!"

Meanwhile, you could put a radio or CD player in the bedroom and put on the music yourself. He might grasp the idea that way. Hmm or it might make things to easy for him. Hard to say.

Have you told him you want this all the time or just some of the time to help change things up so it isn't so hum drum?