The LL Man - news article

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
The LL Man - news article
10
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 2:39pm

Found on another board - thought it might interest some


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rltaboos&msg=7800.1&x=y


Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 5:30pm
I find this article very unfair. I'm sure that alot of men are not interested in sex for these reasons, but 4 out of the 5 reasons given place the blame on the man's partner.
Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 5:55pm

Remember, this is the men's explanation of why they are LL.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 1:02pm

The article seems to be perpetuating the myth that true (constitutional) LL doesn't exist in men. As I've stated before, I believe it's rarer than in women, but that it certainly does exist. Here are my own 5 categories of LL:

1. The constitutional LL: does not desire, fantasize or get aroused by sex with regularity or intensity.

2. The conditional LL: is not interested in sex except under a limited set of conditions (e.g., enacting a fetish or specific scenario, doing it with an stranger or "bad boy/girl"). May turn to porn/masturbation to satisfy specific sexual interests.

3. The relational LL: predictably loses sexual interest in long-term relationships. May turn to porn/masturbation for sexual gratification.

4. The reactive LL: reacts to life stressors or perceived relationship imbalances (e.g., carrying too much of the housework load) by shutting down sexually.

5. The medical LL: has a clear medical cause for the LL (e.g., hormone deficit or imbalance, longstanding diabetes, drugs such as oral contraceptives or antidepressants).

Freelance

Edited to add: it goes without saying that these categories can overlap.




Edited 2/7/2008 1:27 pm ET by freelancemomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 1:18pm

Good list, FLM, but you should make note that tese categories can exist in combinations as well, and LL may be caused by multiple categories at once or throughout a span of time.


Randa

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 1:24pm

Yes, absolutely, the categories overlap. (I had the same thought while writing them out and should have mentioned it in the post.)

F.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 1:24pm
FLM, you forgot about the "my partner just doesn't do it for me anymore" LL.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 1:29pm

<>

I did actually consider this category when writing out the list, but chose not to include it because it doesn't reflect a PATTERN -- just loss of interest in a specific person, which can happen to anyone.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 2:13pm

Allow me to chime in on the FLM praise. =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 2:35pm

There were other reasons listed too ...


Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2007
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 3:11pm

I find it interesting that the article is attacked as being "very unfair", when all it puports to be is a poll of what people claim as the reasons.


As the poll noted, both sexes are most comfortable blaming their partners.