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|Sat, 01-05-2008 - 6:02pm|
3 months ago I married my high school sweetheart of 10 years (I'm 26, he's 28). As far back as I can remember I have always had a difficult time getting in the mood for sex. The sex itself is fine, but it requires a lot of mental work on my part to be turned on. But since everything else in our relationship has made me happy, I assumed it was normal and ignored it. A couple months before the wedding, I met someone else. I was immediately attracted to him and eventually we had sex. Even though I feel immense guilt and know what I did was wrong, I can't ignore the difference in me. I realized that I was feeling about this other person the way I should have been feeling for my husband all along.
I went through with the wedding because I kept assuming these doubts were normal, but now months later, I am already in a sexless marriage. I cannot stop thinking about how the other person made me feel and how badly I wanted to have sex with him. I realize that it was probably infatuation and would eventually go away, but I also realize I've never felt that type of chemistry and connection with my husband. Now that I'm aware of how I could be feeling, it's difficult to ignore. I have been seeing a therapist on my own and am considering couples counseling, but I'm not sure I would be able to create the type of attraction I obviously want. At the same time, lack of sexual attraction seems like a shallow reason to end a 3 month marriage.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Edited 1/5/2008 6:06 pm ET by conflicted730