LL"s how do you feel about you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
LL"s how do you feel about you?
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 11:12pm

To fellow LL"s.. question. How do you feel about you?
In general? Do you like the way you look? Do you feel confident in the person you are?
How does your partner make you feel about you? (I'm not just taking sex.)


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 11:36pm

In general, I feel just okay about me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 10:05am

How do I feel about myself? Pretty good, I'd say, but it was a long time coming. In my teens and young adulthood I used to feel very bad about my low libido. I felt flawed and inferior. It's only in my 30s and 40s that the puzzles of my life (career, kids, etc.) started falling into place. I'm 50 now, and while I have few wrinkles and no white hair (my claim to fame!), I certainly don't look 20 anymore and frankly don't worry about it. My self-concept isn't all that dependent on my looks, but rather on my achievements and on the people I love. (As Sigmund Freud put it, "There are only two things in life: work and love." I agree.)


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Sun, 05-27-2007 - 12:47pm

My teen years I grew up hidding behind a big ugly red sweater. Whistl my girlfriends fell stupidly over the boys.. I made friends and was "one of the boys" I felt very flawed.. cause I didn't feel what my girlfriends talked about when it came to boys. I thought something must be wrong with me. Later my male friends said I was very unapproachable in high school. They didn't understand why I made myself look ugly. Couple of them even has crushes on me they said.

I think I've aged ok. I'm 49 and do not look it.. certainly don't act like it. My sons friends think I'm cool. HAHAHA. I still hide myself. I don't like men looking at me. I still feel that I don't live up to my looks.. Sort of like false advertising. I believe laughter is the best medicine.
And at this age.. exercise and eating healthy should be #1. I want to be able to run around at 90.

But I am so battling inner demons ,, at times I don't know if its just hormones or if I am
really going crazy. I'm 49 and still get my monthly etc. Doc said I probably won't hit menopause till
late 50's. but ,, I could cry one minute , laugh the next then take ones head off in the next.
I feel like a 16yr old confused kid most of the time. DH trys to get near me and 90% of the time I
have to hold back from screaming. The other 10%... :-) emotions are out of control. I hate it.

God I need a pill. A happy, calm down enjoy life , enjoy hubby pill. In life I've got it all. I've done well. Why can't I let go and enjoy it? Why do I punish myself? These feeling are always around me but at times its get so intense.. sort of like real bad PMS.

Just age???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 12:33am

No, I don't like the way I look right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2006
Sun, 06-03-2007 - 2:17am
I feel pretty good. I played the good little wife, sex at his demands, cleaned the house, waited on him hand and foot, had his children and now it is time for me. I am working out at the gym five days per week after work. I enjoy sleeping alone, he now sleeps on the sofa. I could never understand why they ever got rid of twin beds. It is wonderful to sleep without someone snoring in your ears, groping you, hogging the sheets or throwing their arms or feet over you. Quite frankly I have never been happier. Oh! please do not think I am boasting or being unsympathetic to others with LL. It is just that now at last I can really breathe. I can read before I sleep, or listen to music on my MP3 player or look at a good movie that I like. If I had it to do all over again, I would still have a relationship with him, have the kids but never marry him. I say God Bless Oprah, if she does not want to get married more power to her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2006
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:17am

I feel unattractive most of the time, mostly because I was pregnant and just had my baby 3 weeks ago. I am young, so the idea of stretch marks and the famous 'jelly belly' is hard to deal with. My current bf doesn't make me feel sexy, even though he tries. He just doesn't give me the 'look' like my ex could to make me feel beautiful, in turn sexy.

I am pretty confident with who I am though. I am not ashamed to admit I am a little... or more than a little weird. I love my quirks. I love me, just not me with my bf... I haven't always been ll. Wow,... I just realized maybe its not me being ll as much as me being or feeling neglected b/c my bf can't make me feel sexy... Interesting...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 8:51am

Congrats on your new baby!!!!! :-)

Don't worry about your body right now. Your body wants to concetrate on the baby, that is its/your job right. Your feelings are normal for a new mom. Your belly, It will all go back,, and the stretch marks will fade away. Your young..it all goes back. Try some Vit E oil. Have BF rub it on your belly. All that oil (wink) Give yourself alittle time to get back to the old you.
Next month slowly start yourself back on a exercise program. Ie/ is summer time.. enjoy those long walks , all 3 of you.

Don't compare BF with your ex. They were two dif guys. Sounds like BF is trying.
Its our attitude about "us" that makes us feel sexy or not. Your BF could be saying and doing all the right stuff but if you are feeling blue...(normal for new moms) then your not going to feel it. Feel good about you.

Give yourself some time and from what men tell me.. pregant and new moms are very sexy..there is this glow thing happening.

again congrats.. enjoy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 10:21am
Oh, my, ladyavee. While my wife and I have a solid relationship, she would LOVE to have the sleeping arrangements you guys have! She can't stand it when I roll over during the night and put my arm or leg across her body. In all honesty, there ARE times when she seems to like it, but they are few and far between. She's been known to get up and move to the guest bedroom on occassion, just to escape. On the other hand, she thoroughly enjoys snuggling with her head on my shoulder once she's awake. It's just the contact during sleep that annoys her. As for me, I'd snuggle up to her back all night, if I could get away with it. Of course, it's the "poking" that naturally occurs that really bugs her. Except, of course, when she wants it!