LL's there is hope....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
LL's there is hope....
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 2:48pm

I just thought I would pop in here. I posted on this board a few months ago when my 10 year marriage was quickly going down hill. He blamed our "lame" sex life (we had sex at least 3times per week but it was never enough for him) for his bad behaviour and anger directed towards me. I really did not like having sex with him - he put me down about anything and everything, criticized my body, never helped with our children and the list goes on and on. He threatened to leave the marriage and I panicked. I was even willing to allow him to take a lover to fulfill his sexual needs that it seemed I could not. I felt very inadequate and inhibited.
Our marriage has indeed since ended. I have started dating someone who is into me and not my T&A. Who genuinely cares about me and not my paycheck or the extra 10lbs I am carrying. And low and behold the sex is beyond incredible. I never was able to have an orgasm during sex with DH and I am multi-orgasmic with my new beau.
I just wanted to let others know that in my case, in my marriage - I think we were not sexually compatible. DH liked raunchy porn style sex. That did absolutely nothing for me. Add that to constantly criticizing me for every little thing and my mind and body just totally tuned out after a few years.
I wanted to pass on the hope to others. Leaving a marriage is not easy - DH has since begged me to come back, apologized for all the criticism etc. but unfortunately for him it all came too little too late....


Avatar for cl_elyse449
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 4:19pm

Hi Rose,

It sure is nice to see you again! Thanks for the update! All too often I find myself wondering; "whatever happened to..." LOL.

I suppose for some, incompatibility in the bedroom is a strong possibility. Let's face it, what turns one on may not be what turns another on...and there's no judging either way... accept when you add to it criticism and put downs...I suppose that would turn most of us completely OFF.

I am so glad that you've found someone that you can be more matched to. Kudos to you for finding the strength to take such a step in your life! I wish you LOADS of happiness!