LLs, What Do You Think About Paid Sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
LLs, What Do You Think About Paid Sex?
22
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 2:10am

This is really a question for LLs who are true blue LLs, meaning not a "lost libido", but a never really had one... and probably mostly pertains to LL women...


Would you ever under any circumstance allow your HL partner to receive paid sexual services?

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 8:08am
...I probably don't fit the form of "true LL"...but, during my first marriage...I was not attracted to my husband in the least after living with him for a bit...after the birth of our son...I was not into sex whatsoever...I would NOT have wanted him to have sex with anyone else...but, I didn't want to have sex with him either...and, I wanted him to be satisfied with the occasional quickie began with..."hurry up"...that is my honest answer...I don't answer this way as a defense...it's my honest answer...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 9:14am

My husband (who's not HL, actually) has a submission kink that I've been somewhat reluctant to partake in. (I've participated a few times on his initiative, but my motivation to initiate this type of play is very low.) On two occasions I bought him a session with a professional dominatrix for his birthday. He told me all about it (including the fact that he did NOT get an erection from her ministrations, though he did enjoy the sessions) and I didn't have a problem with it.

I'm not a sex refuser, but if for some reason I was unwilling or unable to have sex with my DH I would absolutely NOT begrudge him paid sex.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 9:56am

I don't fit your "true LL" demographic either, since I had a HL once upon a time. However, I will say that I would have zero problem with him getting sex with a paid professional, with the exception of the fact that this is a very very high risk thing to do health-wise, and I am not done having sex for life. So, I would not be willing to risk MY life, for him to hire a pro it seems like such a perfect solution otherwise though....

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 9:39pm

On two occasions I bought him a session with a professional dominatrix for his birthday


Just curious... was the intent that he could have sex with her?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 9:44pm

I don't fit your "true LL" demographic either, since I had a HL once upon a time.


I think you do fit in this scenerio.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 9:51pm

I really appreciate your honesty!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 10:17pm

<>

No, these professional dominatrixes don't do sex. They do sexual role play (tying up, spanking, etc.). I'm not sure what their boundaries are around oral & manual stimulation, but I think I could have handled it if it had happened.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 1:23am

Hey, thanks for the new terminology.


"Dear Santa,


"For Christmas this year I would like a 'rub & tug', a compass and this thing that tells time."


Yeah, that's great!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 2:26pm
...did I write that I didn't care about him?...I didn't mean to...I certainly was attached to him and what it meant to be his wife...and, the mother of his child...I also very much understood that he attached very high value to emotional connections during sex...so, my relationship would have been threatened because why would he want to spend his life with a cold, sexless wife when he could start all over with someone who was into him?...as it turned, he did have extra marital sex but was killed when very young and did not really have the chance to leave me...no, I did not mean to write that I did not care about him...our marriage was far from perfect and probably headed for dissolution...but, I cared very much for him and what having him in my life meant...especially as my son's father...I loved him as a good friend...or, a brother maybe...our relationship was not much beyond room mates...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2009
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 2:52pm

I'm sorry zejayge. No, you didn't say you didn't care about him - I was projecting MY feelings.

Your openness and honesty about your short comings is truly amazing.


 

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