Is this love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2009
Is this love?
3
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 5:28pm
I have been with my BF for 2 years now, and I've been thinking that I want to spend a lifetime with him. Unfortunately for the past six months or so we have been having problems with our sex life. I think this is because I am LL and he is HL.
About once every couple of months my boyfriend comes and tells me that he is a very sexually active 21 yr old man, and that this is the time in his life where he is the most sexually active, and that he has a problem with always initiating, and that I'm not really present during our sex. He can tell that I am just having sex because I want to get it over with.
I really love him, and I want to make him happy. Unfortunately it seems that both of my options seem to cause problems, those options being not having sex, or having sex and not enjoying it. I try to initiate sometimes, but as soon as I'm not in control, or it takes too long I get bored and start thinking about other things. Anyways, about a week after he tells me this, I get so frustrated with having sex every day that I have no interest in him at all, whether we are having sex or not, so I stop having sex again and try to avoid it, and I feel a little better but then he gets frustrated and irritable, and he starts to try and touch me all the time, but I don't want to have sex and he's always thinking about sex so I start to think that all he wants is sex and who wants to be in a relationship where they feel like they are only good for sexual satisfaction.
Anyways, I'm very confused, and I just want things to be normal again, where he and I have a good relationship and have fun doing other things together, and do it like once a week or something. What do I do???
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
In reply to: lolita879
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 7:17pm

"Anyways, I'm very confused, and I just want things to be normal again, where he and I have a good relationship and have fun doing other things together, and do it like once a week or something. What do I do?"


Unfortunately, this is the normal part of the relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: lolita879
Fri, 09-11-2009 - 6:29am

You said you've been together for 2 years but it's the last 6 months that you're having sex problems.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: lolita879
Tue, 09-15-2009 - 6:53pm

I really love him, and I want to make him happy. Unfortunately it seems that both of my options seem to cause problems, those options being not having sex, or having sex and not enjoying it.


You said this as if these were the only options. Sometimes, when we love someone and want them to be happy and realize we are a bad match for them, the loving thing to do is to part ways with them. For some people,