My fault he's LL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2007
My fault he's LL?
7
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 12:32am

Hey all,

I'm having another one of those days where I wonder if maybe it's all my fault! We're both young twenty-somethings and we've been together a few years. When we first started dating, he was in his prime so had more of a sexual appetite but I wanted to stay a virgin until marriage. He had to wait two years to have sex with me (till I was "ready"), which he was very patient and sweet about. But I think he just learned to live without it - so now I'm the one who's always interested in sex and he has very low libido. Did I make him this way? Can it be reversed? Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 11:39am

"Did I make him this way? Can it be reversed? Thanks"


No you didn't make him that way. :-)

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 11:57am

I agree that what

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 3:50pm

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2007
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 8:29pm

"He had to wait two years to have sex with me (till I was "ready"), which he was very patient and sweet about."

Thanks for your advice. It definitely seems that it's not the case that he is resentful about it. We were long-distance the first year or two anyway so only saw each other for a few days a month, and as I said he was very patient about my desire to wait. But we've been together for 6 years total, so "sexually active" for more years than not. Any feelings of resentment would have played out by now, and mostly I think I'm the one who's resentful. Some of you hit the nail on the head that I feel resentful towards him about missing that whole "honeymoon" phase of the relationship when it comes to sex. As for whether he's just always been this way, I definitely noticed a change in him in his early 20s. Whereas we used to fool around pretty often (even though we weren't having "sex"), there's been a steady drop off since those first two years in the amount of physical contact between us. Maybe he just developed a "been there, done that" attitude towards sex, or like I said simply learned to live without it, but I know he was as sexually active as other males his age and just the last few years with me has been exhibiting LL behavior. I honestly think he still has sexual desires, he just doesn't act on them for some reason. (I'm basing that on comments he makes about sex and about images on TV or in magazines or certain outfits I wear or other "turn ons".) It's so confusing to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 9:03am

He sounds LL to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2004
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 7:12am

OK you're probably not gonna like this but based on what you told us (I hope I'm wrong) this is what I think MIGHT be the problem.


Sounds to me like he might actually be AL (average libido).

I can solve all of life's problems by asking myself a simple question:  What would Stone Cold Steve Austin do in this particular situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 8:36am
From what I understood of the OP post she and her DH have been married and sexually active for four years (she stated they had been together six years).