my low libido & his threats to cheat
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|Sun, 09-09-2007 - 3:31am|
DH has a high libido. I don't but I still pleasure him and have sex but it's not good enough because he knows I don't crave it and it'll never be often enough for him:
1. If I don't crave it there are only so many times I'm going to want to do it for the sake of doing it.
2. There are times when he's gotten it twice in a day and will still complain to me or friends about never getting any which also makes me feel it will never be enough.
I've tried to tell him I'd crave it more if he'd do what women want/need: flowers, candles, foreplay (which means touches all day or all week building my desires) yet he doesn't get it. He reads these message boards and can't understand why I'm not a sex-crazed girl with a drawer full of toys. He says we don't have time for romance I just need him to build our connection or at least some foreplay that doesn't feel like, "this is me touching your neck so we can have sex." That doesn't work!
**Does anyone know how to help me get more sexy thoughts (I'm a teacher so nothing during my work day, please!) or help him do his part?
**Also, he keeps threatening (did it again tonight) that he is tempted to/will cheat because of his needs. He has cyber-cheated several times and recently flirted (way over the line) with a friend right under my nose, freaked when a guy grabbed my hand and danced with me, then continue flirting with the girl while I had to remove myself from the party because of his verbal abuse. (Yea, we've tried working on abuse through DV, too.) I guess he's getting ready to cheat (on-line or otherwise) and that's why he's turning this issue into a big fight and threatening to cheat.
I need help.