Welcome and sorry to hear about your troubles.
<,You will NEVER convince HIM that his expectations are unreasonable just as YOU will NEVER be convinced that his expectations are reasonable. >>
While I agree that expectations are idiosyncratic and do not need to be justified, this particular man does sound rather extreme in his criteria. Might there not be some value in educating him about how the great majority of women respond sexually within long-term relationships? If, say, 95% of women would be unable to fulfill his sexual requirements for marriage, he may want to either 1) try to adjust his sexual requirements or 2) reconsider whether he's the marrying kind.
I guess what I am confused about (and the counselor is trying to get my DH to understand) is that I am already compromising by being agreeable to having sex even if I am not in the mood.
I don't think that educating him concerning his position on the spectrum is going to cause him to suddenly feel less of a need to be sexual than he feels today.
I find it interesting that several people (including my DH) treat the change in interest in sex from the beginning of a relationship to the current relationship as if I made a decision to have lots of sex early on and then would decide to want less sex later on.
Compromising is good.