Normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Normal?
37
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 4:27pm

Hey Ladies! :]
I am KINDA newbie to sex me and my boyfriend been having sex for almost eight months now. However we only have sex like once month not even.

I dunno? Is this normal? I am 20 and he’s 21. Shouldn't we be having sex like crazy? Before we had sex he wanted it BADLY, but now he does not. This is okay for me because well the sex isn’t so great anyways.

I think my real problem is my friends, they always told me “SEX SO GREAT!!!” “ONCE YOU HAVE IT YOU ARE ADDICTED!!!”

I just do not feel ‘hooked’ as my friends say I would. Maybe I just have a low libido? My 50 year old mom has more sex than me… I wish I did not know that! Lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
In reply to: lostxforever
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 9:21am

This is off topic, and I do not want to hi-jack, but glenn, could you please email me I need to ask you some questions about supplements.

You offered me advice once before, but I wasn't ready to take it. I think I'm ready now.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
In reply to: lostxforever
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 6:58pm
As with the whole range of human characteristics, I'd be willing to bet there's some bell curve out there that describes the onset of sexual thinking and sexual activity by age. I didn't start thinking of sex as something interesting to me until late in my 19th year, didn't lose my virginity until after I was 20 and then had more lovers over the course of the next three years than many people have in a lifetime. Now
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
In reply to: lostxforever
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 8:26pm

<< I didn't start thinking of sex as something interesting to me until late in my 19th year.""

I suspect this late-onset HL is more common in women than in men.

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: lostxforever
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 11:41pm

I'm feeling more and more different. Here's the thing, I think about sex, I wear lingerie, when I do masturbate I fantasize.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: lostxforever
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 6:38am

suddenly have the physical urge strike while studying organic chem


Ah, it's the bondages that have got you going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: lostxforever
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 9:54am

That's funny. I can't rationally understand why my brain would find long-chain polypeptides to be erotic. LOL

Though it is interesting that I only seem to truly physically feel lust when my mind is occupied by other things that have no sexual component at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
In reply to: lostxforever
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 3:40pm

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Perhaps because you're not putting pressure on yourself in these situations. (Am I feeling it yet? Am I feeling it yet?)

F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: lostxforever
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 3:56pm

Perhaps because you're not putting pressure on yourself in these situations. (Am I feeling it yet? Am I feeling it yet?)

That is possible, and a year ago I would have cried "Aha! I have the answer." But, I quit worrying about whether or not I am feeling it for almost six months.
I'm beginning to believe that there is a disconnect between my brain and my body in regards to sex, that fundamentally I cannot by force of will or thought raise my body to any level of sexual desire. And when I hear other people describe the "feeling" sex gives them, I simply cannot relate. Sex is good, but so is chocolate cake. Orgasms for me are never "earth-shattering" and I never have that mysterious glow I keep hearing about. When my body does decide it's horny, I enjoy sex but even then I don't experience it as an overwhelming need that has to be met right then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
In reply to: lostxforever
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 4:00pm

>>That is possible, and a year ago I would have cried "Aha! I have the answer." But, I quit worrying about whether or not I am feeling it for almost six months.
I'm beginning to believe that there is a disconnect between my brain and my body in regards to sex, that fundamentally I cannot by force of will or thought raise my body to any level of sexual desire. And when I hear other people describe the "feeling" sex gives them, I simply cannot relate. Sex is good, but so is chocolate cake. Orgasms for me are never "earth-shattering" and I never have that mysterious glow I keep hearing about. When my body does decide it's horny, I enjoy sex but even then I don't experience it as an overwhelming need that has to be met right then.<<

This is spot-on. It is exactly how I feel most of the time. I can take it or leave it. It's just not that great. meh, whatever. I have not always felt this way, though. I was very HL and remember a lot of what the HLs here recount, with the exception of the whole "after glow" and sex as an expression of love. I never got either of those.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: lostxforever
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 4:13pm
I can count on one hand the number of times in my entire life that I've felt sexual desire so strong that I felt like I had to "scratch the itch" immediately. I used to have a much higher libido than I do now, but I've never really experienced sex the way I hear other people describe it and certainly never the way romance novels describe it.