Normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Normal?
37
Wed, 08-18-2010 - 4:27pm

Hey Ladies! :]
I am KINDA newbie to sex me and my boyfriend been having sex for almost eight months now. However we only have sex like once month not even.

I dunno? Is this normal? I am 20 and he’s 21. Shouldn't we be having sex like crazy? Before we had sex he wanted it BADLY, but now he does not. This is okay for me because well the sex isn’t so great anyways.

I think my real problem is my friends, they always told me “SEX SO GREAT!!!” “ONCE YOU HAVE IT YOU ARE ADDICTED!!!”

I just do not feel ‘hooked’ as my friends say I would. Maybe I just have a low libido? My 50 year old mom has more sex than me… I wish I did not know that! Lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
In reply to: lostxforever
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 4:20pm

I've NEVER felt like I had to "scratch the itch" immediately. I've had strong desire, but if not indulged it would always go away. I don't understand the whole "have to have it or I am going to throw a fit" thing.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
In reply to: lostxforever
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 5:29pm

Ha, I never understood throwing a fit -

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: lostxforever
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 4:52am

My wife's description of her feelings about sex are

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: lostxforever
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 6:09am
Agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
In reply to: lostxforever
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 6:35am

I guess I am beginning to understand a little now that I am an old guy. When we were first married anything went, and during the time when we were procreating and there were some difficulties there I was pushed past the point of empty. Now that the kiddies are growing up, its been nearly three years. She simply lost interest. I have had counseling yet she refuses. I think marriage is for better or worst so if you are young and one of you have lost interest in supporting the needs of the other its time to rethink things and fast. Thats only my opinion. I am starting to enjoy my pre children hobbies again and retirement looms on the hill. I miss sex and I would like to have sex one more time before I die. Its not a deal breaker for me and maybe its due to the length of time I have been married. I guess its like candy once you have it, its hard to go cold turkey and stop it all together. I am a beleiver though if you are healthy and young you should enjoy yourself because it only takes a moment for everything to end.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: lostxforever
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 7:43am

Well, I'm lucky in the sense that we are managing our ML to our mutual satisfaction now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
In reply to: lostxforever
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:15am
...this LL couldn't agree more...geekman hasn't had sex in 3 years?????....wow, his wife is completely ignoring him, his needs, and his contributions to the marriage (if sex is his emotional bonding activity)...I wonder if removing her emotional bonding activity might be in order here...perhaps she can't understand what it's like to have emotional bonding needs unmet...she might be having hers met while simultaneously having her need to not have sex met...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: lostxforever
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:18am

The feelings aren't trivial for me, just not "overwhelmingly powerful" and it is the same if I'm on pain killers, alcohol, ect. When DH and I have sex daily I am there in that moment, present with him, and I can't always make my body respond. I think about sex quite alot actually, and my body has about a 20% chance of responding to those thoughts with arousal.

I personally think, at leas for me, that my brain might not be my biggest sex organ, or that it might function differently for me than others. I can't "think" myself into being horny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
In reply to: lostxforever
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 12:49pm

As an American male growing up in an egalitarian society, I never realized the need that I had for respect from my SO until one provided it in spades. My response?


I have never loved even half so well before her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
In reply to: lostxforever
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 8:00pm
Thanks for the support