Physically turned off

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2007
Physically turned off
31
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 6:43pm

Hi,

I decided to delete this msg. Upon reflection, this situation is a reflection of many other family issues - we have been torn apart the last few years dealing with a drug addict son. And no, I have never been "extremely" overweight. We both know that we must work together to improve our lives together - have just been coasting along. I was venting my frustrations. Quick question: do those KY things work? Take care everyone.  




Edited 7/11/2010 10:09 pm ET by trustisgone

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 9:15pm
...tell him his weight is turning you off...or, tell him you want him to begin eating better and exercising so that you have him around for as long as possible...if the subtle (the latter) doesn't work, you'll have to go to the straight forward approach (the former)...personally...I think once the attraction is gone, it's gone...good luck...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 5:03pm

I have to agree with zejayge, when the attraction is gone, it stays gone.


"Anyone have advice on how to deal with this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 10:35am

Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 10:40am

Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 10:42am

The problem with all these "products" is that if you don't have any desire in the first place, you don't really care to use them.

I don't want an induced physical sensation, I want natural desire. Big difference in my book. Besides, any irritation in that area doesn't manufacture desire, it just makes you aware of the area. If you aren't experiencing desire, it just reads as uncomfortable, in my experience.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 11:05am
I might try just to see if it wouldn't prod me to be more into it after we start.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 11:33am

Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 11:40am

And that is exactly what these things are marketed to do, improve RESPONSE. You have overcome the lack of desire. Of course, I think you have desire, just not the same type of desire.

My problem is I have NO type of desire. I have aversion in a lot of cases at this point. It's worse than an absence of desire, it's anti-desire.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 12:02pm

Mirranda, do you feel that if your DH was less critical and more accepting you might find some desire even if that wasn't sexual?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 12:10pm

"Still, I think women's sex drive is probably from all kinds of related factors, so who's to say you can't identify some of them and do those things with them and one of them will catch. Kind of the same way someone gets into or out of a depression, it could be their brain chemicals, diet, exercise, thoughts, amount of daylight, situation, probably an interaction of factors and by manipulating one or more you could trigger the others, spiral up or down. "


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