Physically turned off

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2007
Physically turned off
31
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 6:43pm

Hi,

I decided to delete this msg. Upon reflection, this situation is a reflection of many other family issues - we have been torn apart the last few years dealing with a drug addict son. And no, I have never been "extremely" overweight. We both know that we must work together to improve our lives together - have just been coasting along. I was venting my frustrations. Quick question: do those KY things work? Take care everyone.  




Edited 7/11/2010 10:09 pm ET by trustisgone
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 12:18pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 12:23pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 12:26pm

>>Mirranda, do you feel that if your DH was less critical and more accepting you might find some desire even if that wasn't sexual?

I believe that if my DH was overly critical of my level of response or was negative about what I was able to give, then I might loose the desire I have to be sexual for him when I'm not really feeling sexual<<

Yes, I am certain I would feel better/more responsive/more desirous if there was less criticism in general. Not just criticism in the sexual area, but criticism in every facet of life.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 12:28pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 12:32pm

For me there is physical arousal, then there is lustful desire. The two aren't always hand in hand. As a matter of fact, things that might be physically arousing (certain types of stimulii, for example) are downright irritating and sometimes painful if there's no lustful desire with them.

I cannot orgasm without the right amount of physical arousal, but I can in the absence of lustful desire, it is just more difficult. I can also orgasm and have plenty of physical arousal with NO lustful desire present.

I know this sounds terribly convoluted. Sorry.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 12:50pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 1:13pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 1:16pm
...I so agree...if my husband were critical and disrespectful...he's have to find another woman because I would not be interested in the least...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 4:35pm

Zejay,


here's the thing, you aren't having sex because you "want" sex...you (like me) are having sex because it makes your DH happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 6:42pm
...I have to write that I do indeed desire sex with my husband 3-4 times a week...just not the 14 times a week he would like...we've compromised down to 7 times a week and I am more than happy to accommodate and it is purely because I do, indeed...want to make him happy...