Please help me understand

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2006
Please help me understand
1
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 1:38pm

Hi,
I really don't mean to sound dumb here but that is how I feel about all this. I feel I have always had a high sex drive at least higher then my husbands. If I could have my way we would make love at least 2 or 3 times a week. It has been over 3 weeks now and my husband has not said anything about wanting sex at all.
I guess what I want to know is with a Low Libido do you think about sex at all or is it something that just doesn't matter to you? Does is have anything to do with your partner would you want it more if they were sexier? I am really trying to understand how my husband feels and if there is anything I can do to help us through this. Should I still initiate sex or just leave him alone? I really want to talk to him about this but he doesn't like to talk about his feelings. He is very sensitive and I don't want to hurt his feelings and I don't want him to feel like he is failing me or our marriage.When I have tried to talk to him he says he likes sex and he doesn't think there is a problem. Also when we do have sex there is very little or no forplay. He just wants to get right to it . Is that normal for a man with a low libido?I guess I am trying to figure out if its a low libido he has or if it he is just not interested in me.I did buy one of those tapes that teach you how to make love and we watched some of that together at one point he seemed very interested in the movie. The couple were making love on the kitchen counter and he said, "wow, that looks good" I started to get excited until he said, "We should have a big salad like that for dinner."There was a big salad next to the couple making love. I just had laugh or I was going to cry. :)
Any insight you could give me would be great. We are both going to have physicals done soon to make sure everthing is ok health wise.
Thanks, Keya

Avatar for cl_elyse449
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 4:34pm

Hi gal_keya!


Welcome!!


Well, I am NOT someone who typically has LL. I've changed over the years w/ my LL spouse though and have gotten more towards the LL spectrum, that's for sure! Anyway, here's my thoughts...but I'm sure some of our resident folks who are LL will have better answers...


You said; "It has been over 3 weeks now and my husband has not said anything about wanting sex at all."


Is this a new development? What is the usual time in b/w for sex?


You said; "I guess what I want to know is with a Low Libido do you think about sex at all or is it something that just doesn't matter to you?"


From everything I've ever heard, sex DOES matter and they DO think about it. They just don't place in on the list of priorities for needs as much as we do.