Questions for people with LL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2011
Questions for people with LL
3
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 7:24pm

So my boyfriend has LL. It's hurtful to me, etc., all the bad things everyone else has written about having a partner with LL.

My story is this: He is 29, has a history of slight depression, has been on meds our whole relationship (2 years), and constantly comes up with excuses (he is too tired from school, work, etc., but even if there's no pressure in those areas it doesn't change). He says he's always had LL, but it hasn't been a problem before because his other girlfriends also had LL (or didn't complain). Unless I practically overtly state that I want to have sex, he "doesn't notice" my come-ons (coming to bed naked, stroking him, talking about new sexual positions and things I'd like to try in bed..).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 9:04am

- Do you find that when your partner comes on to you, that he/she is pressuring you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 9:10am
>>- Do you find that when your partner comes on to you, that he/she is pressuring you?<<

yes, but this is as much due to the long term ML and the fights we have about it as it is due to anything about him or me.

>>- Would you prefer a scheduled sex time?<<

YES! I've tried to negotiate this many times, and he won't go for it. It would give me time to prepare for it, it would stop the dreading/pressure/inappropriate timiing issues, and it would just minimize the issues around it.

>>- Is there anything you want from your partner in this area that you are not getting?<<

Acceptance, patience, tolerance.....oh, you mean sexually? NO. or maybe all those things still apply....

>>- Does taking a break from sex sound appealing to you?<<

yes, but I know it's not worth the price paid in terms of his resentment

>>- Would you prefer being the instigator to sex or not - or 50/50?<<

I hate intiating. Always have, no change in that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 8:20pm

- Would you prefer being the instigator to sex or not - or 50/50?

I don't initiate...I don't have to...we have sex every morning...

- Do you find that when your partner comes on to you, that he/she is pressuring you?

...again, we have an arrangement which equals sex every morning...

- Would you prefer a scheduled sex time?

already have it

- Is there anything you want from your partner in this area that you are not getting?

...no, and this is a common question from an HL..thinking there must be something missing from the sexual experience and if the HL could just find the right position or remove enough stress from the LL's life...then the LL will miraculously want more sex...wrong...

- Does taking a break from sex sound appealing to you?

...yes, very much...but, I made a deal...