Spin-off: Are you TRULY LL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Spin-off: Are you TRULY LL?
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 10:44am

Do you consider yourself truly LL? Or you do you think you are LL because of outside issues? (Some outside issues could include medical issues, issues within your relationship, fatigue from work/kids/etc.)

Do you think you would be LL in all relationships or just this one? Do you think there are conditions that could be changed to change your libido level? Or have you always just been "not that sexual"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 1:21pm

Truly LL. Always wanted to be HL. Some people on this board think I'm a closet HL (I wish!), because I have an average (perhaps even above average) need for sexual release. But this is VERY, VERY different from a need for sexual activity and exploration with other people, and I've always understood that. The AVEN (asexuality visibility and education network) website defines asexuality as an absence of SEXUAL attraction toward other people, noting that many people who meet this criterion may nevertheless feel a need to masturbate. That's sort of how it is for me: I regularly feel a kind of general bodily tension that demands release in the form of orgasm, but this tension isn't specifically tied to sexual thoughts, fantasies, images or urges. Fantasizing while masturbating does enhance the experience to some degree, but it doesn't really push me to orgasm any faster. It's like I go from A (tension) to C (release) while skipping the B (arousal). I wouldn't call myself completely asexual, because I have the odd glimmering of attraction and arousal, but most definitely LL. I've been this way in all my relationships.


Edited 11/18/2007 1:22 pm ET by freelancemomma