upbringing one reason for LL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2007
upbringing one reason for LL?
15
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 11:01pm

I've always wondered that. My mom told me what a proper young girl should and shouldn't do. (I feel really old saying that) It was always pounded into my head that a person should wait till marriage to have any kind of sexual relationship. I always got the feeling that sex was a bad thing. Then after the wedding, a person is suddenly supposed to be thrilled with sex and want it all of the time. I thought it was very hard if not impossible to make the transition from yuck to yum. I don't think I ever did, actually. (Much to my HL husbands dismay) The only reason I say me and HD are not mismatched is that we have stuck it out for over 30 years, and have other things to worry about. Most of which is his heavy drinking. I remember longing for satisfying sex, but sex never satisfied me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 12:25am

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I've had the same thought, not so much with respect to individual upbringing as to general social conditioning. As kids we're told to avoid engaging in practices that spread germs (like sharing toothbrushes) and we're conditioned to view certain odors (strong breath, sweat, gas) and secretions (saliva, blood, any kind of slime) as yucky. Then we're supposed to forget about all that and view these things as attractive in the context of sex. Like you, I haven't been able to make the full transition.

Freelance




Edited 11/13/2007 12:41 am ET by freelancemomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 7:35am

>>>Most of which is his heavy drinking.

Gee I wonder why he drinks so much. I used to watch how much I drank so that I wouldn't have any performance issue. Although if I did I made sure I took care of DW by an alternative method, ;). But now when we go out I really don't care if I drink to much. As a matter of fact I make sure to drink a little extra so that I can fall asleep quicker when we get home.

Something to think about.

Dirty

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 7:56am

My LL asked me once if I was becoming an alcoholic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 8:00am

>>>Most of which is his heavy drinking.<<<


..Gee I wonder why he drinks so much. I used to watch how much I drank so that I wouldn't have any performance issue. Although if I did I made sure I took care of DW by an alternative method, ;). But now when we go out I really don't care if I drink to much. As a matter of fact I make sure to drink a little extra so that I can fall asleep quicker when we get home.


Something to think about.<<






iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 8:17am

>>Or he may be an alcoholic.

Maybe he was driven to it. Most alcoholics take up drinking for a reason.

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 8:20am

Yea after a party on night DW rejected my advances.
I said she was frigid.
She said I was drunk.
I said yes but tomorrow I'll wake up sober.

Dirty

Just a joke!!

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 8:21am
Thats the kind of thing an alcoholic would say....=)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 9:11am
It may be your upbringing, but if you have had only one partner and you did not especially click with him , you may have the potential for a more rewarding sexuality with someone else. Being LL
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 9:12am

Just because one's an alcoholic doesn't mean their wrong.

Dirty

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 9:23am

I drink too, so drinking itself doesn't bother me much. His drinking cups of whiskey a night, does not on his performance and it certainly not make me want to cuddle. I kinda wish it did enhance something. Maybe I should drink a lot too, maybe it would make me find him more attractive. His drinking started as a means to cope with the stress of his job--then it got out of hand. I know what drinking can do, I grew up with it. That is not the point of this post.

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