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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Update
31
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 2:15pm

DH and I had a chat this weekend about how to work studying around sex, so that he gets the sex he needs and wants, and I get to focus on studying. He actually got out my day planner and we worked to block out two hours per day after he gets home for study. He agreed with me that the time should be strictly for studying.

So, we will give this a shot and see how it goes. As of right now, the only time I have left to sacrifice that isn't already taken by other things are the five to six hours I sleep per night. And, I'm getting to the point of thinking "Oh well, I'll sleep when I die."






Edited 9/20/2010 2:28 pm ET by tiptoeingaround

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 2:43pm
...no, no, no...not the sleep time...your sex, marriage, and studying will suffer if you are not sufficiently (or close to) rested...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 2:50pm
I know. I'm trying very hard to find balance right now. Three kids that are all active and need me to help with or do things with them, granted they need less now than when they were younger. A house that has to run, meaning laundry, cooking, dishes, grocery shopping, ect. Ten hours in class per week, plus that necessary study time that goes with education.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 2:50pm
But you can believe that her DH probably doesn't care if everything else suffers some, as long he gets what he wants. BTDT.
roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 2:55pm
Actually, I think he does care about whether certain things suffer. He doesn't want our marriage to suffer, or my grades. He didn't get that I couldn't just study for an hour like I did the first year or so that I was in school. DH isn't really an inconsiderate PITA. It's just that sometimes he gets focused on his perceptions and doesn't really look at the whole picture.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 3:33pm
...oh my gosh, I have so been there done this...3 children, finishing my b.a...starting my grad work...the house, the husband...an endless mound of laundry...9 sports going at once (including academic team for 1)...bless your heart...the early morning has always been the best for us as far as sex...I then go about doing everything I have to do and know that I've taken care of my husband...(I swear this gets better...the oldest is at college now and my grad work progressed a bit...won't go back to that til the middle one heads off to school)...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 4:42pm

Go for it tiptoeing!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 4:51pm
Wonderful news!

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 7:48pm
zejayge wrote:...oh my gosh, I have so been there done this......9 sports going at once (including academic team for 1)...







If your kids are doing any of these extracurricular sports, music lessons, dance lessons, clubs, etc., I would seriously consider stopping that stuff. My opinion is that, at this stage in life,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 7:59pm
None of my kids are in athletics, however they are very active in the music programs in their schools. I would not dream of telling my daughters that they can no longer be in band for a couple of reasons. One, my eldest is on track to earn a band scholarship to pay for her university education. Two, her grades have been much better since she's been involved. Yes, I am a band mom, and that means I work games, ect. But, it's a small sacrifice for what brings my kids such joy, so I don't consider it a waste or an unneeded expense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
In reply to: tiptoeingaround
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 8:47pm
...absolutely not!...at least not at my house...2 parents are more than capable (my husband is retired, I am a stay at home parent) of taking care of what we had going without going crazy...it's not a waste of time...academic team, band, and sports...on top of fantastic grades and community/church service are wonderful ways for my children to spend their time...of course, not everyone is doing everything at one time...but even at the crazy times...it's worth it...my middle son will probably receive great financial benefit from his academic team and baseball talent...my youngest is very good at sports and the trumpet...can't think of better ways to spend their time when they're not with me and/or my husband...beats the hell out of television/computer/game system playing...and, in their free time, they love to fish on our lake...rednecks and geeks...through and through...

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