update, landmines mostly avoided for now

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
update, landmines mostly avoided for now
15
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 6:17pm

Well, I think we have had more sex in the last couple weeks than in the three months before them! I initiated on Tues morning, then skipped Thurs morning (my bad!) But made it up to him Friday. Then we were at it twice this weekend!! The ED issues seem to be abating for the most part, for which I am very grateful!

The only current issue for me is that he wants verbal confirmation of "how it was" after every encounter. I answered him honestly the first time..."It was good" I said. This started a huge discussion about what about it made it "good" and not great. ARRGGGHHHH. I told him the truth. It started out great, but somewhere in the middle it sort of went awry.

Since that first discussion I have started overstating sometimes. I just don't want to analyze every sexual encounter. I also don't think it's a big deal. Good is GOOD! That's fine with me, hell, most of the time, I don't really care all that much at all. I am just doing it to keep us close, I don't NEED my toes curled!

Overall though he seems happy with the way things are, and he has definitely "heard" me about what I want/need out him to make an encounter more successful. Hopefully I will be able to maintain this pace and quality will improve too.

On another note, diet and exercise is going well, I've lost 6 lbs in two weeks!

Randa

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 7:06pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 8:28am
Maybe it would be helpful for you to anticipate where he is going to be coming from and prepare yourself to validate him, which I think is what he is wanting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 9:25am

>>Maybe it would be helpful for you to anticipate where he is going to be coming from and prepare yourself to validate him, which I think is what he is wanting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 9:27am

OPguy,


Thanks for your support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2006
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 12:16pm

I don't know if I can add helpful perspective or not, but I read your post inductively, comparing it what I experience with my DW.


It read like you are satisfied with a lesser amount of detail in this than is your DH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 12:35pm

So you are saying that I should go beyond just saying "It was good" to saying something more specific?

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 1:44pm

I think you will have to brainstorm a way for you to communicate in a way that meets his need without feeling false to you.

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 6:48pm

Hold, your post is spot on and as usual bordering on genius!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 6:56pm

If you remember from a previous post, he doesn't even make a noise during sex, not one peep.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 7:01pm

Randa....


That boy needs to be topped. Badly.


Are you a switch by chance?


"His party line is "I get my pleasure from pleasing my partner"

Pages