Variety
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Variety
| Wed, 09-29-2010 - 1:33pm |
DH and I had an interesting conversation the other night about variety and his need for sexual “variety”. As we were talking I had to remind him, that between the two of us I am really far more adventurous. I will go to any restaurant once, try any new food at least once, see different plays movies ect. And he typically wants to go to the same restaurants, and when we go out to eat, he always orders the same thing.
It took me years to get him to go golfing with me, and he is still hesitant to go to plays or the opera. But, in the area of sex he wants lots of variety. I don’t understand that, you would think that he would be the one that liked the “comfortable” and I would want the “novel”. And to some degree I do, but I don’t feel it is necessary or even desirable to invest hours of time and hundreds of dollars to be able to have sex differently, especially since in reality the sex is the same.
It took me years to get him to go golfing with me, and he is still hesitant to go to plays or the opera. But, in the area of sex he wants lots of variety. I don’t understand that, you would think that he would be the one that liked the “comfortable” and I would want the “novel”. And to some degree I do, but I don’t feel it is necessary or even desirable to invest hours of time and hundreds of dollars to be able to have sex differently, especially since in reality the sex is the same.
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Yes things can change, and it is hard to say for sure what the case would be if I was married to someone who wasn't an asshat.
I don't think it's men, Candy, because I don't see it this way. I have a very very low need for variety. I am one of those women who keeps things until they are worn out completely. I never redecorate, or rearrange furniture, I don't change the color scheme of my towels or bedding. I just don't need that.
Now my sex drive is a different story, but I need a total change to ignite that. Changing the window dressing doesn't get it done, I have to have an entirely new model for it to have that effect.
It's such a shame that we (women) tend to not notice what's not new. It's almost like the mind says, "Okay, that's taken care of. We've got a man. Now let's
That's possible, and it's something I'll try. I might polish all his shoes for him, or clean his golf clubs.
Let us know how this works out.
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This is where I'd like to get with my DW. I think this is very reasonable and doable. We are not quite there yet but we are making progress.
So, the answer is what....less stroking of his ego? Because honestly, I could do without another romp in the car that leaves me laid up with a heating pad for two days...Maybe all I need to do is wait until he gets tired of paying for the chiropractor and massage therapist. ;)
I think you said in another thread that your husband’s primary love language is acts of service—so wouldn’t his ego be stroked more by you detailing his car (and leaving your calling card letting him know you did it for him)
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