We used to have a lot of sex...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2010
We used to have a lot of sex...
4
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 9:47pm
When me and my boyfriend started dating we lived 2 hours away from each other so of course when we would be together for a weekend we would have sex at least 5 times the whole weekend. We moved in together a year ago and didn't have as much sex. Now it's once a month if we are lucky and mainly because I feel bad! How can this be fixed?! I want to want more sex!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 8:11pm
...are you turning him down?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 9:06am

In addition to what the others have posted, I wanted to ask if you had any other changes when you moved in together. Especially changes in birth control methods. Hormonal methods of birth control (pills, patches, implants, and hormonal iuds) all vary greatly in the way they can affect your libido. Even changing brands of pill can make a difference, so talk that over with your doctor if it is an issue. Also, if you changed jobs or lifestyles greatly, stress can be a libido killer, so think about that and what you can do to help yourself there (exercises like yoga, meditation, pampering time, etc.)

Good luck, I know how frustrating what you are feeling can be.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 10:23pm

When me and my boyfriend started dating we lived 2 hours away from each other so of course when we would be together for a weekend we would have sex at least 5 times the whole weekend. We moved in together a year ago and didn't have as much sex. Now it's once a month if we are lucky and mainly because I feel bad! How can this be fixed?! I want to want more sex!



If you want to have more sex, have more sex. If you're waiting to want more, that's a whole different problem. As a first step, you should tell your boyfriend what you're feeling (or not feeling) and that you want change how things have been going. Suggest you embark on a journey of rediscovery. Buy books about sex and read them together. Watch porn together. Experiment with sensual massage. Start with what worked in the past and branch out from there.



You are going to need to be completely honest with yourself as you work through this. It's possible that you haven't lost your desire entirely but perhaps just your desire for him. Do you feel turned on by other people? Until you get it all sorted out, do yourselves a favour and don't get married...even if he says he doesn't mind. We all seem to come to mind in the end and you will mind too. You don't want to feel bad about how much sex you're not having for the rest of your life.



Good luck and remember: there's nothing wrong with wanting more for yourself but you have to be sure you want it for yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 9:55pm
I think the