What's wrong with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
What's wrong with me?
1
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 10:33am

Hi,

I've written on this board a couple of times but I can't seem to figure my issue out? I'm 27 yrs old and in a relationship with a 28 yr old man for the last 6 1/2 yrs. He's a great guy, who always seems to make me laugh, even when I'm soooo angry! He's kind, understanding and attractive. We'd had our share of problems, from his father's death to posessivness. We've come a long way since those issues, however our sex life is not consistent at all. He has a high libido and I have a mediocre libido). We have sex appprox. every 2 weeks. When we do it's great, I enjoy myself and I'm into it and I think if I feel liek this now there's no question that I'll always have desire, but that doesn't happen.

I'm still shy about sex to some extent. Sex was never a topic to be discussed in my house. It was always private. My BF family is the opposite. I do masturbate weekly, but feel so guilty afterwards. Guilty, because I should be having sex with him too.

I'm just hopeless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 2:14pm

"I'm still shy about sex to some extent. Sex was never a topic to be discussed in my house. It was always private. My BF family is the opposite. I do masturbate weekly, but feel so guilty afterwards. Guilty, because I should be having sex with him too. "

Well you'll never hopeless, particular for feelings like these. We can change to at least some degree IF we want to work at and not punish ourselves every step of the way as we do it. You enjoy some type of sex at least once a week so it seems from what you say, you need to work more on your shyness and guilt feelings. A therapist may help but maybe a self help book depending on how bad of an issue you think this may be. Which every route you might go, you'll probably be taking baby steps are first with whatever techniques are discussed to help overcome those feelings.

Maybe next time you get the itch to masturbate, if it is a workable time, call up your boyfriend and invite him over for some fun instead.