I'll get to the possible irony at the end.
Lord, I am a HUGE fan of irony, and that would be a doozy!!! And it could happen, and what would we all do?? I think it would provide huge insight into the workings of an ML relationship.
Do you think she will have a lightbulb moment and take on the role of seducer?? Would you be open to it if you thought it was genuine??
How is it that you being open to sex but not willing to initiate makes her feel "ugly, unloved, undesired, etc"?
When was the last time you initiated?
>>How is it that you being open to sex but not willing to initiate makes her feel "ugly, unloved, undesired, etc"?<<
I'm not Glenn's wife, but from what he's said about her, and their past - I'm thinking it's because she's accustomed to him initiating and his compliments about her looks every day, and it hasn't been happening.
Here is another irony.
Could it be that you're reveling in the realization that changing her is out of your control, so you can finally relinquish the reins?
I felt the exact same way with her initiating sex less than what I desired so I more than understand and sympathize.
I'm done keeping track but I think about two-and-a-half weeks ago.
Honestly, I have to give that question some thought before answering.
Forgive me for being dense, but I still don't understand what you expected to get out of this request (emotionally). Wasn't it a bit like requesting, "From now on I'd like you to spontaneously decide to buy me a gift every week." The point is, you gave her specific instructions, so you could NEVER have the assurance that her initiation was spontaneous or genuine.
I'm sure it was. I wonder if it also occurred to you that defining the parameters of initiation might sound the death knell for true initiation.
Why do you think the message hasn't sunk in?
Edited 11/18/2007 9:34 pm ET by freelancemomma
The first thing that came to me was how certain physical discomforts can detract from all of life because of the irritation/distraction factor.
I agree, there needs to be a certain amount of "buy-in."