Wouldn't it be ironic?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wouldn't it be ironic?
12
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 10:09pm

I'll get to the possible irony at the end.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Sat, 11-17-2007 - 11:23pm

Lord, I am a HUGE fan of irony, and that would be a doozy!!! And it could happen, and what would we all do?? I think it would provide huge insight into the workings of an ML relationship.


Do you think she will have a lightbulb moment and take on the role of seducer?? Would you be open to it if you thought it was genuine??


Angela

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2007
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 2:54am

Two questions:


How is it that you being open to sex but not willing to initiate makes her feel "ugly, unloved, undesired, etc"?


When was the last time you initiated?


Ok, three:

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 10:26am

>>How is it that you being open to sex but not willing to initiate makes her feel "ugly, unloved, undesired, etc"?<<


I'm not Glenn's wife, but from what he's said about her, and their past - I'm thinking it's because she's accustomed to him initiating and his compliments about her looks every day, and it hasn't been happening.




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 7:16pm

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Here is another irony.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 8:40pm

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Could it be that you're reveling in the realization that changing her is out of your control, so you can finally relinquish the reins?

Freelance

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 9:17pm

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I felt the exact same way with her initiating sex less than what I desired so I more than understand and sympathize.


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I'm done keeping track but I think about two-and-a-half weeks ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 9:20pm

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Honestly, I have to give that question some thought before answering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 11-18-2007 - 9:27pm

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Forgive me for being dense, but I still don't understand what you expected to get out of this request (emotionally). Wasn't it a bit like requesting, "From now on I'd like you to spontaneously decide to buy me a gift every week." The point is, you gave her specific instructions, so you could NEVER have the assurance that her initiation was spontaneous or genuine.

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I'm sure it was. I wonder if it also occurred to you that defining the parameters of initiation might sound the death knell for true initiation.

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Why do you think the message hasn't sunk in?

Freelance

Edited 11/18/2007 9:34 pm ET by freelancemomma




Edited 11/18/2007 9:34 pm ET by freelancemomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 8:54am

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The first thing that came to me was how certain physical discomforts can detract from all of life because of the irritation/distraction factor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Mon, 11-19-2007 - 9:31am

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I agree, there needs to be a certain amount of "buy-in."

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