young, in love, lost sex drive

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
young, in love, lost sex drive
4
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 11:13pm
I'm 21 almost 22 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 8:30am

Well the drop off after a year and half is something normal that happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 5:07pm
I had a similar situation happen to me, which isn't fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 8:54pm
You seem to really understand what is going on with how my boyfriend is feeling. Much of what you have said are things that he and I have discussed. I'm trying hard to not push him away, but like you said it is something I'm having to work at because things are not easy right now. I'll look into the book you mentioned and think about a book on grief. In the mean time i'll try to take your advice and turn to him for support more even though I do find comfort in my friend/roommate. It is just hard for me to turn to him for comfort because i'm strong willed and always there for other people; he is used to people turning to him for comfort and advice so it is hard for him to understand that sometimes I don't need him for things and it makes him feel less needed, wanted, loved, etc. I'll just have to work more on making him feel that I do need him, because I do. He has gotten me through some tough times. I'm still not sure how to work through my decrease in sexual feelings especially when his are not decreased at all; it makes it hard for him to understand what I'm going through because he can't relate. He does look at it as very intimate and the closest way he can be with me and feels very unloved and unwanted since I don't want sex. I try to reassure him that it is not because I want him less but just that i'm having issues right now but that is still hard for him to grasp. Hopefully turning to him more and working harder at intimacy will help the situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:42pm

"It is just hard for me to turn to him for comfort because i'm strong willed and always there for other people; he is used to people turning to him for comfort and advice so it is hard for him to understand that sometimes I don't need him for things and it makes him feel less needed, wanted, loved, etc."


That is probably the most confusing part for him.