zero sex drive-no sex for last 8 months

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2009
zero sex drive-no sex for last 8 months
Tue, 06-16-2009 - 4:09pm

ok so my b/f & I have been together for the past 3 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 06-16-2009 - 7:11pm

Sounds to me that it makes perfect sense that you wouldn’t be interested in sex. When it came to me and my partner I wasn’t interested in sex because our relationship was going down the tubes. If someone is constantly making you feel ugly, fat and unwanted, how in the heck are you supposed to be able to feel sexy and horny for that matter? Throw on top of that a very very serious medical condition and I bet you not even the most HL person would be so interested. I bet if you had a different partner who treated you well and cared you wouldn’t be having this issue one bit! An affair couldn’t possibly help your libido either I mean this guy is doing everything in his power to diminish any drive you have! Yikes. I’m sorry your doctor put you on pills (I hate pills ever since my doc was more than happy to drug me up for what he thought was depression…and yet never schedule a therapy appointment for me…)

What I think is that it is going to be incredibly hard to be intimate with someone who you makes you feel awful, who has hurt you in so many different ways. I think even masturbation to you brings back thoughts of inadequacy which is another reason why you can’t even orgasm there.

It is your choice but if you are being treated miserably in this relationship maybe a more fulfilling one would ease this pain?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Tue, 06-16-2009 - 7:13pm
And why on earth would you want to have sex with him given how he treats you?!?! Have some self-respect! You don't deserve that from anyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 06-16-2009 - 7:18pm
...your boyfriend sounds like a jerk and your LL with him is probably far as your medical long with the scent be there?'ve been through a lot...give yourself time...and, even though you didn't ask...I am going to be forward and tell you to leave his ass...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Tue, 06-16-2009 - 7:41pm


I'm no doctor, but I'd wager quite a bit of money that your drop in in sex drive has little to do with your internal physiology and everything to do with your circumstances (particularly your boyfriend). If you tell your doctor you've had a drop in libido and he prescribes Wellbutrin, you're not addressing the real issues -- as far as I'm concerned it's like putting a bandaid on your leg for an arm injury.

Why do you want to stay with this guy? I suggest you use your current sitation as an opportunity to reevaluate and possibly start fresh.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2008
Wed, 06-17-2009 - 1:18am

I agree with the others. Reading your message I was trying to figure why in the he!! you even wanted to stay with this, guy. Let's see, he's cheated on you, made fun of your weight, made rude comments about your scent, and you fight all the time. All this while you were sick with cancer.

I say good riddance! Take a deep breath and RUN! while you can!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2007
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 11:30pm


I can certainly understand why you have no sex drive.