35 Brutally Honest Reasons Women Say No to Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
35 Brutally Honest Reasons Women Say No to Sex
16
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 10:23am
http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/35-brutally-honest-reasons-women-no-sex-173100232.html I agreed with quite a few of these. The BO ones, the teeth brushing ones, the feeling fat, want to be alone, tired, cranky, on my period, no interest in sex at all, he's being an a-hole...and my favorites Because groping doesn't turn me on. and Because you aren't hard and I'm tired of trying. Actually so many of these were ones I could remember feeling/thinking that it is amazing I manage to have sex at all...oh that's right, I don't say "no" for most of these, I have unwanted sex and think about the reason why I don't want it while he goes to town. ugh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 10:24am
and I apologize for the block text format. I cannot seem to make my browser do anything but that. It won't accept any formatting whatsoever, not while I am posting or later as an edit. It's making me CRAZAY!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 11:55am

Mine are normally along these lines:

It's 3:15 am, we both need to get up at 6 and we both have dragon breath. I love you, but I'd really rather sleep.

I have a migraine, and having sex while my head splits open and the room spins isn't a turn on to me.

You haven't spoken to me other than to ask "hon, what's for dinner".... so, I don't want to have sex.

Can't you see that I'm trying to study, I can't shift from organic chem synthesis reaction series to sex in .025 nanoseconds.

I tried getting frisky earlier and you thought the NFL was more important, now I'm finding the textbook I'm reading more important.

I mean in theory, I could come up with many, many more. Fundamentally, I have greater difficulty in being generous when I don't feel the generosity is being reciprocated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 12:11pm

It is comforting and depressing at the same time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 12:16pm
Bri, I am not passing judgement on any of these, just saying I have felt a lot of them before. HLs don't really understand. They WANT to do it, it's rare for them NOT to want to, so these things just sound stupid or lazy to them. But if you don't get turned on by doing any of this, and there's not a big payoff for you of some kind (earth shattering orgasm for instance) then it's just WORK. And sometimes you don't feel like doing the work. It takes a LOT of work to get my DH hard most of the time. I much prefer that he looks at some online porn or whatever and comes to bed with that work already done. Especially since the only time he wants sex is between midnight at 4 am. I don't want to wake up from a sound sleep and have to "work over him" to get him hard so we can have sex. If I work that much, there's no chance I am falling back asleep quickly afterwards either, so that is another strike against the whole thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 8:26pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Sat, 02-04-2012 - 9:14am

I don't really see these as brutally honest, I think they're consequences of various sorts.

The brutal honesty is either that the two are incompatible or they're not in love with the other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sat, 02-04-2012 - 5:00pm

I've heard a handful of these and even thought some of them myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Sun, 02-05-2012 - 2:21pm

MST, thanks very much for coming out with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Sun, 02-05-2012 - 3:55pm

I just remembered seeing a "no sex tonight lame excuse dart board" once. You throw your dart and give the excuse in which it lands: "I feel fat", "You made a joke about my mother", "I have a headache", etc. I actually prefer the random excuse approach or maybe use them in rotation, rather than pretend that the lame excuses

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2009
Sun, 02-05-2012 - 4:18pm

Yes.

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