Advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Advice?
24
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 9:06am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 9:27am

Alice,

Cheating, or staying within your marriage faithfully are not the only options. If your DH is aware of your mismatch and the grief and pain it causes you, you could broach the option of taking a lover with his blessing. An open marriage can be a solution, which keeps you from having to lie and feel guilty, and keeps him from having to "service" you out of obligation.

I know this meets with a lot of resistance, but it does have merit. Sometimes you have to "think outside the box."

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 9:34am
...is your husband a selfish man?...I don't ask that to be harsh, I am just reflecting on your words...that he tells you to just take care of it yourself...is he aware that you crave coupled sex?...are you open to him being a part of your orgasm without his?...is mutually desired intercourse the only way your want to experience sexual fulfillment?...I ask this as I am the LL in my relationship...my husband would prefer sex 2 times a day but we have compromised down to once a day and even then, I am usually not in a sexual mood but I love to please him (though, my pleasure at watching him enjoy 'us' is not always sexual)...so, I can enthusiastically engage in sex...my husband appreciates this and while he really enjoys the encounters where my pleasure is sexually motivated he does not require that I experience an orgasm every time or that I act out the part of a sex goddess...what are your thoughts/feelings on his participation in your sexual fulfillment without being sexually involved (mentally enjoying your pleasure)?...do you think he would go along with it?...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 9:39am

Alice,
Welcome to the board. I am sure there will be some other women chiming in soon. I can really relate and understand the temptation.

Dirty

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 10:06pm

Hi, Alice.


I'm HL. There are

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 12:10am

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As a LL, I'm just curious: what does it feel like to want sex as opposed to just wanting sexual release (orgasm)?

Freelance

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 7:40am
...I'm an LL that does not masturbate or fantasize and I know what it's like to desire sex...the whole connection, the whole "physical" connection, and I am always certain that if I want to orgasm...my husband is up to the task...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 8:55am

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Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 11:17pm

As a LL, I'm just curious: what does it feel like to want sex as opposed to just wanting sexual release (orgasm)?


It's funny. I can have an orgasm any old time I want. But sex is something else for me. Sex is more like a journey. (That sounds corny, I'll admit.) What I want from sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 9:00am

"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 9:09am

>>Sex never makes me feel emotionally raw or vulnerable, it never has. Sex can make me physically vulnerable, but not emotionally. <<

2nd that.

roo and snowy siggie

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