Anyone heard of this book?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Anyone heard of this book?
12
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 1:53pm

http://www.theromancerescue.com/purchase/

Just ran across this book on amazon.

Anyone read it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 2:04pm
It sounds too good to be true, and you know what they say about that.

Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT send it to your wife's kindle. YOU need to read it first, and make damn sure it's something realistic and not offensive before you even begin to push it on her. On the positive side, it's only $27. I've wasted more than that on lingerie that didn't do anything for either of us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 2:19pm

>>>Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT send it to your wife's kindle. YOU need to read it first, and make damn sure it's something realistic and not offensive before you even begin to push it on her.<<<

Yes, I would like to read it first, preferably on the kindle, but she would most assuredly find it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 2:26pm
>>Yes, I would like to read it first, preferably on the kindle, but she would most assuredly find it. It's her kindle, but at the moment use it more than she does.<<

I am warning you, if you ever want to have sex with this woman again, do NOT send it to HER kindle. She will NOT like that. Read it some other way, then share it with her or not. This is a slippery slope. Think about some fundamental part of yourself that you are insecure about, esp that she might like you improve. Think about how it would really feel if she "dropped" a "gift" like that on you. I am telling you that this kind of thing just slaps her in the face with the whole "you aren't good enough, you aren't trying hard enough, you are a failure" message. It isn't likely to foster cooperation if you don't deliver it just the right way. If you read it and there are things in it that YOU can do to improve things, then okay, yeah, maybe. If you read it and it places the whole problem squarely on her shoulders and could possibly make her feel in any way "broken" or "wrong" or "inadequate" then the answer is no. Don't pass it on. Even if you think she IS "broken" or "wrong" or "inadequate"

Get my meaning?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 2:32pm

Even if it's legit and you could offer it to her wihout offence, would she be motivated to read AND apply it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 2:44pm

>>>would she be motivated to read AND apply it?<<<

Who knows?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 2:59pm
Jed, you are blaming "everyone" for responses coming pretty much from me and me alone. Traffic on this board has slowed so much that there aren't many replying to each topic.

The reason why it seems like I am concerned about the fragile feelings of the LL is because I know that hurting the LL further isn't going to make them work harder to resolve the problem. If you decide "they've hurt me, so bugger all I'm going to hurt them" then you aren't going to get a resolution, you're going to get a negative spiral. If that is where you WANT to end up, that's fine, but you should probably say so when asking for advice, because I can't tell if you don't.

As for LLs not giving a crap about the HLs feelings, I resent that implication. I care very much. I do not know if your wife does or not, but I would beware of assuming she doesn't. It is very easy to fall into thinking that because the LL is not fulfilling your every need, that they aren't trying and don't care. I have said this many times. Just because your partner isn't doing what you would do, or doing what you would like for them to do, does not mean they do not love you.

If you are tired of trying to make things better, then by all means stop. But let those of us responding to you know that you are done with that. Otherwise we have to work with the assumption that you are still trying to save the relationship and improve the situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 3:06pm

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Yes. There is nothing more irritating, IMO, than this kind of hint. There's a good chance she'll see it as passive-aggressive and manipulative. Instead, I suggest you come right out and tell her that you are craving more sexual connection in your relationship, came across this book, and hoped you might both read it and discuss it together. Make it clear that it's YOUR agenda (nothing wrong with that) on the table.

F.

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 3:15pm
Sorry jed, I am with the ladies. Huge mistake to download to her kindle.

And I agree with Glenn. Vanishingly small chance she will implement it, even if you think it is useful and not one-sided.

She has to want to change. She has to come to you saying essentially "I have not been the wife you deserve, how can I make it up to you." Until she does that, stop dircting your actions toward getting more sex. Devote yourself to creating a reality in which she would be horrified to learn that you are considering leaving.

My wife is herself thinking of leaving. In that context, I would be foolish to come on here asking people for advice on how to have more sex (with her).

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 3:33pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Mon, 01-03-2011 - 3:39pm

>>She has to want to change<<

I see no sign that she wants to or even if she's "trying."

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