Bad news!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2002
Bad news!
76
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 10:29am
Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage. Benjamin Franklin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 1:49pm

"For women with chronic low libido, it doesn't change when they meet a new partner and it doesn't change when they go on vacation. It absolutely can be a problem in their brain and they should not feel guilty."


Phooey.


If our brains can change form and function based on environmental factors they can change over and over again

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 2:02pm

>>If our brains can change form and function based on environmental factors they can change over and over again in any direction we determinably point them. <<

This may be true, but the process of getting the brain to change in the DESIRED way, well it's not exactly a science is it? I mean, there's no recipe....watch 3 porno's, walk 2 miles a day, eat 7 oysters each Saturday and stir....

My grandmother reprogrammed herself to walk after a stroke destroyed part of her brain, I know that some activities can be 'rewired' however, libido is NOT an activity, it's not that simple. You cannot reliably reprogram a person's sexuality. It's been tried, on homosexuals, with mostly disasterous results.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 2:10pm

Indeed, you have chosen one of the most difficult sexual reprogrammings out there.


However, see 'People Can Change' or 'NARTH' for results in that area.


Again, I say... phooey!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 2:38pm

Yes, people can change, but should they HAVE to? I am firmly against the whole idea that "narth" purports. I think that homosexuals have a right to love who they want, and the right to do it without judgment or discrimination. I don't think it's a healthy thing to try and "change."

I spent a lot of years in the gay community and have a lot of loyalty and respect for my friends there.

You don't want me to get on that soapbox.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 2:47pm

I have no interest in the topic of homosexuality itself. My point was that people can change brain form and function with the proper approach and effort.


I'm no Buddhist either but here's another example.


http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma8/monkstudy.html


"The study was published (Available Below) in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. "We can't rule out the possibility that there was a pre-existing difference in brain function between monks and novices," says Prof. Davidson, "but the fact that monks with the most hours of meditation showed the greatest brain changes gives us confidence that the changes are actually produced by mental training."


I think we could go on and on with near

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 2:54pm

I cannot get past the first step without a clear idea of what subsequent steps will be necessary to get to the desired endpoint.

I'm difficult like that, I want to assess the whole program before making any steps.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 3:01pm
I hate to sound so general but willfulness utilizing love and hate is what I used to change my (eventually, natural)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 3:07pm

I can will myself to an action, but not to a feeling, if that makes any sense. Since my DH wants me to have enthusiasm and genuine desire, I have no idea how to "retrain my brain" for those things, they are either there or they aren't.

I've gotten good at compliance, but not at enthusiasm. Compliance is an action, enthusiasm, well, that is a feeling.

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 3:22pm

Let's say you have to put

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Wed, 06-23-2010 - 3:28pm

>>>>> My point was that people can change brain form and function with the proper approach and effort. <<<<<


To me, this is why I give different advice to people who are not yet married compared to people who have been married many years and have kids together.


To me, no one except your kids is worth putting in that much effort to reprogram one's sexuality.

When you see it coming, duck!

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