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|Wed, 06-02-2010 - 2:30pm|
We've had a breakthrough of sorts in our ML situation but not exactly in the preferred direction. For some time, we were having sex about once per week. It's far less than what I would prefer but it was tolerable to me. A few weeks ago, she stopped initiating and I noticed she was just not very interested in sex when I initiated. When I asked her about what was going on, she finally admitted that she was feeling turned off recently.
So it turns out that I smell bad to her now. She claims this is relatively new. I asked if I smelled bed even after I showered and she said I did. It was hurtful but I said I would use more deodorant. I didn't tell her but I also planned to use cologne (though I have to be careful because she's sensitive) when/if we have sex. She tried to soften the blow by saying it may be related to some medications I'm taking but I've been taking those for some time now. I don't know what's changed.
Since then, there have been other communication issues we've been working on but just today she also admitted that she didn't feel like she had much fun with me and that also affects her sexual feelings for me. I asked if she meant that she thought I wasn't very enthusiastic when we did things together (like attending a recent concert or playing card games together). She said yes.
I explained to her that this was a chicken or egg situation. I asked her, "wouldn't you think that it would be hard for a man to be enthusiastic for a woman outside the bedroom that is not enthusiastic for the man in the bedroom?" She agreed with that statement as well.
I have a feeling there is more coming. I know the bottom line is that she is probably asexual, from her own admissions that she doesn't feel sexual toward anyone, and addressing these issues is not likely to help much, but I am glad we are at least airing these things out.
I was content, though hardly ecstatic, with the way things were before. I'm not sure where this is headed now...