can't reach orgasm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2011
can't reach orgasm
5
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 4:39pm

Hey guys and girls i could really use some help.
Mty boyfriend is my first sexual partner and we have been together for almost a year and a half but I have never been able to achieve orgasm with him through penatrive sex. He has to give me oral to make me orgasm. It's getting really frustrating for me now and I'm pretty sure it is for him too. I have noticed that when he gets rough it helps a little but never really gets me there. Do any of you have any advice that might help me orgasm by normal sex?

E <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Fri, 08-17-2012 - 12:14pm

Masturbate / rub your clitoris while he is penetrating you.  If you feel a little weird doing this in front of him, don't.  This is a huge turn on for guys.   My wife and I have been married for quite a while, when we first started dating she told me she never had an orgasm, and I was her 5th sexual partner.  Her first time was me giving her oral, then I used my hand on her and she never realized she could have an orgasm like that, then she started masturbating alone, and then she got comfortable enough to do it while I was penetrating her.  There is usually a good chance we can orgasm at the same time which is great.

I think I got close maybe 2 times since we have been together with her having an orgasm from just intercourse alone.  First time I got so turned on I lost control and was done before she could get there, the other time she kind of got there but lost it.  It's not only frustrating for women, it's also frustrating for us to because we would love to get the job done.  But as others have stated it's not unusual.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 7:14pm

emzy_lou, you're totally normal.   The clitoris has a zillion nerve endings and the vagina doesn't.   Try positions where his hips can grind on your clitoris - or where his hand has access to it during penetration.    

For what it's worth, when I do have an orgasm through vaginal penetration, it will happen more because I'm really into it than because of any actual physical stimulation.     And it's NEVER as intense as a clitoral orgasm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 9:54pm

" Do any of you have any advice that might help me orgasm by normal sex?"

 

I forget the exact numbers but seems to me that something like 30-40% of women can not achieve orgasm by penetrative sex alone. My DW is in that category, she has only reached orgasm that way 2-3 times in 26 years and it required some creative positions to make that happen. 

 

" It's getting really frustrating for me now and I'm pretty sure it is for him too."

 

Has he expressed frustration or are you infering it? DW was frustrated at first over it until I made it clear I was not frustrated and had no 'rules' about it. His desire should be for your pleasure, not for HOW you recieve that pleasure. Or so says I.