The Christian Perspective on Intimacy
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|Mon, 08-16-2010 - 11:56am|
A friend of mine has introduced me to a few books regarding dating, marriage, intimacy, etc. I have always been a fan of such books and found several valuable, but this is my first exposure to Christian self-help books. I absolutely value my friend’s opinion and joined the church myself a little over a year ago, but historically had a difficult time resolving the Church’s “no premarital sex” stance with the values I have about sexual compatibility. In a nutshell, I feel it is ESSENTIAL to get as real a picture as possible of what is in store for the sex life with a potential spouse, and the best way to do this is…well, first-hand experience. I was in a ML relationship for many years and vowed to never again experience that sort of deep, long-lasting pain and alienation.
Two I’ve read recently are “Sex and the Soul of a Woman,” and “Undressed.” She deeply loved these books and while I could appreciate some points, I am always at odds with the reasoning expressed in chapters on intimacy. As expected, the advice is to wait for sex after marriage. The wide spectrum of possible libidos (or even orientations) is not addressed, or the possibility of ML occurring once the reception is over.
Sometimes I just can’t shake the sense that the authors are prudes or LL themselves. One dismissed any oral sex act in 1-2 sentences.
I think I feel compelled to post this because I want to know if there are participants on this board who still believe in a “no premarital sex” stance, despite having read some of the stories here. Is there anyone who DID wait until marriage, and has the experience changed your opinions, worked out as expected, caused issues or regret, etc?
Also curious if others have read the books mentioned above, and your opinion of them.