Did cycling kill my boyfriend's sex drive?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Did cycling kill my boyfriend's sex drive?
8
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 6:06pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and it's already been a lot of work. I love him and think we could have a great life together, but the man has no passion... for me. The first few months he was crazy about me and we were having sex almost everyday. Sadly, I was on the pill and it killed my sex drive, but I still played along. I got off of the pill and my sex drive is back, but now, he has no sex drive. A few months ago he took up cycling and he is obsessed with it. He goes on several long rides a week (35 to 70 miles each). All he talks about is cycling. When he comes over he immediately boots up his computer to input all of his stats. And then, he wants to eat and sleep. Three weeks went by and he never made a move. I, in the meantime, am super affectionate. I am always trying to kiss him and get him to makeout with me, but he never wants to. It sucks! He finally, reluctantly, broke the drought the other day, but it wasn't easy! I'm just wondering, is this normal for cyclists? I thought, if anything, getting more fit would increase his sex drive. But I feel like cycling is his mistress. I've heard you can't expect a guy to change, but I'm hoping this might be a phase. Anyone out there experienced this? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 9:15am

He is overdoing it. Moderate exercise will indeed raise energy levels and possibly libido. Excessive exercise will tire oneself out and he will not be in the mood for anything. If all he does is eat and sleep right after his workout, then it's the body's response to needing fuel and rest, for he has overtaxed his body. It would be wise to cut down on the mileage.

Some people get that enthusiastic and almost to the point of addicted since their body produces a ton of feel-good endorphin chemicals during high paced cardio activity. These are the same feel-good chemicals that are released after an orgasm. So yes, in a way, cycling is like a mistress as his body recognizes the same rewards from it as from a sexual activity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 08-16-2012 - 7:07pm

>>My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and it's already been a lot of work. I love him and think we could have a great life together, but the man has no passion... for me. <<

tx2co, the clues to what's going on could very well be in these opening sentences.     You don't say why it's been hard work - but there is a rule of thumb that problems inside the bedroom can be caused by problems outside the bedroom.    What else has been going on?  

Also, I've seen a few people who throw themselves into sport and training when a relationship isn't meeting their needs.   It is exactly like a mistress in that respect.     Could this be the case for him?

I suggest you look at the relationship as a whole instead of focusing on just the cycling as a cause of his lost desire.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 7:18pm

The timing here is curious and it draws a parallel to my own situation. 

First of all, cycling in itself will not kill a sex drive. As other posters have alluded to, extensive cycling with an improper saddle can have a detrimental impact on the nerve endings in crucial areas and can, however, impact sexual performance. That is one of the reasons cycling shorts are wll padded (after all, we don't wear them as fashion statements!)

You say that for a while you "played along". If that period of time was extensive, it could have been the reason your BF took up cycling in the first place. Perhaps he "gave up"? (although if you have only been with him 7 months that would indicate a real lack of stick-to-itiveness....it took me over 25 years to give up!

I am working on a much more extended time period. For years I have been the HL in my matchup (various stories can be discovered if you are bored some night and wish to sift through old posts on this board). I took up cycling a few years ago and my bike has become my "man cave". It is my escape...there used to be another cyclist on here who referred to his bike as his "carbon fibre mistress", which I always found to be an apt description. I go out on rides of 30-60 miles, and last year took off for a week and went on a 1000 km trip....best week I've had in years! Of course, if DW was as HL or anywhere close to me in that respect, I probably would not have the time or energy  to cycle.

Having said all that, I am not aware of a "norm" for cyclists in terms of sex drive (Although I DO know a cyclist named Norm and he seems to do OK). I expect your BF has just found a new hobby about which he is passionate. I would have to rank cycling as my second most favourite thing to do in this life. Perhaps your BF is deciding where it fits into his priorities.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 1:19pm
We used to have a poster here named ItalyBiker, he was a HL and an avid biker. That being said, it may be the seat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 12:19pm

Cycling long term, without the proper seat that allows for less/zero pressure on the testicals, can kill sex drive but I don't think your guy has been doing it long enough yet.

Have him research it though.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 08-12-2012 - 8:06pm

What are you using for Birth Control? 

   Yes I could be his mistress.  And yes it could have a detrimental effect on his sex drive.  And that bike seat can be the culprit.

dragowoman