Ever considered, lousy sex= MML

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2011
Ever considered, lousy sex= MML
12
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 12:41pm

Like I mentioned in another post that I am having an A ( hopefully I wont be flamed for it here). My main reason is that sex with my H was lousy.He sucks at sex ,truth be told. His foreplay is sucking at my boobs, licking my stomach and there ! its done. His touch is horrible- not at all sexy, arousing ,its like its an obligation before doing the real thing.Over time, I began making excuses to not have sex with him. I figure that he now believes that I am LL while I am not.

Our quality of sex was terrible.I found a passionate lover and he puts me to fire just with his small touch on the arm.Well, thats a different story.

Anyone ever gave a thought that it might be that you or your partner didnt enjoy sex with you because of the skill and over time, one of you just became a LL in the others point of view? I am still at the same level of libido as I was before while my H most likely believes that I am LL . I did try to show him how I would like to be touched etc. but figure, he didnt give it a thought !

Thoughts?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 2:25pm
Wow! This is a complex thought !
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 2:35pm

We have discussed this as a possibility before on this board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 8:43pm

Why did you marry someone who's so lousy in bed? And what's keeping you from leaving now?

Avatar for holdingontoit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 11:08am
I think that is often the case. Peopke marry someone they do not find attractive. People marry someone who doesn't do it for them in bed.

I think it is a stupid and cruel thing to do. To your spouse and to yourself. But I think people do it all the time.

Stop the charade. Don't allow your H to wallow in self-pity. Don't treat him as if his ego is so fragile that he can't handle the truth. Confront him with the truth. Challenge him to up his game. Offer him the enticement that if he turns you on, you'll be all over him for more. Aim high!

When you see it coming, duck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 12:40pm

I can say yes, I have considered that I was / am lousy in bed, I am HL my wife is LL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2011
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 10:04am
I made a general comment and not that every HL is lousy. But I am sure all will agree that if the exprience is not good ( applicable to both men and women ) for one partner, he/ she will avoid it at any cost.

IMO, its more the case with men.If they dont like how the sex is with the W, they will be more aggressive in closing her out, with the W left to pick up the pieces.In my case, it was the other way around .I chose to stray later.



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2011
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 5:45pm

Having a new lover after a long period of the same partner would always fan the heart of desire and passion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 1:23pm

I did not take offense and I know if was just a general comment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 5:26pm

I have long held that an individual is neither good nor bad "in bed"...unless you want to have a masturbation competition (for which I will leave the rules to you).

Sex is a team sport. Some couples are a better fit than others. Same with kissing. I believe the term many use is chemistry.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 10:42pm

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